Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Some courage, please?

A photo taken maybe a few months before
we got together. Have I posted this before?
To start with I really wish that I have photos of us to display in this blog post but what photos there are, they have all been posted before.

And yes, today I'm not doing the daily prompt because if I do it, it's going to be yet another pointless thing about nothing.

The last time we actually got to meet and stay with each other for some time was probably a month ago now. Not that I'm complaining, although of course I'd love to see him and hit him more. 8) You see, although I'll keep telling myself stuff like, "Idiot. I miss you. I am so hugging you when I see you. First thing."

and then I end up pretty much ignoring him because my heart races so everytime I see him and I won't dare to do any other stuff than saying a 'Hello' or 'Hi' or nothing at all and then proceed to hit him.

In my defense it's a way to show him my affection k. Cause I just. Well okay I'm a coward when it comes to couple-ish stuff which I blame on the lack of experience. I won't dare to hug him until we have spent at least ten to twenty minutes together and there's no one else in sight. I just can't. Or maybe like my ex said, I simply didn't try hard enough. It's depressing sometimes, knowing that I have only a few minutes to see him and I would just stand there doing and saying nothing because I was nervous.

and I would then whine and complain that I didn't get to hug him. and that I miss him. It's le same cycle over and over again.

A really long quote-thing about le situation with Cavan and I.
He's a wonderful person 8)
But hey at least when I do go out with him alone I would dare to hug him and hold his hands k.

It's nice to talk to him, on the phone or just simple pointless conversations through Facebook. He can be really lazy at times, not wanting to go downstairs to get his meal or refill his water bottle, and at times like this I would wish that I have a car that I can drive so I can go to his place and take care of this lazy idiot of mine.

Remember when I told you guys I fall for voices? I didn't actually have this love-at-first-voice thing with him but I guess his voice is just yet another thing I fall for now that I'm actually with him.

If you ask me to pinpoint something that made me agree to be his girlfriend in the first place I would probably find no answer. But as he liked to say when I used to ask him why, "It's the feelings. It just feels right."

It does feel right. 

The least I can do is to make the first move sometimes. Whether it's to hold his hand out of the blue when we cross the road or when I hug him from behind when we're on the elevator or maybe bite him when he's getting too cute for me to handle. 

I like his smile, I like that idiotic way he laughs, (dat fine booty tho) I like le silly way he behaves around his friends, his fashion taste and how he bullies me at times trying to get me to tell him "I love you", how he would sound sleepy on the phone when I call him late at night but still talk to me till I go to sleep. Sometimes I'd poke him at le waist when he's yawning and stretching, and at other times he'd just threaten to bite me by the end of our 'date' (he did, once, bit mai arm but I was wearing long-sleeved =P ) He's loud, really loud, but I've been okay with that for a while now. He wears specs (I dig guys in specs). God bless dat booty and his body's perfect. He puts up with my paranoid questions and statements ( "Babe if I end up in a mental institution one day leave me k, I don't wanna be a burden to you" "Don't be silly, you won't be. You're not a burden and will never be. Don't think too much, dummy.")

Seriously what's there not to love about him? 

He's so nice to me I wonder if I actually deserve such treatments. Am I worthy? I don't even show my love to him much, because I either don't dare to or don't know how to. I'm learning. Still learning. I hope I will be good enough for him one day. He deserves a really good girl who will be able to love him, care for him, and show him lots of affection.

He's a keeper. I'm keeping him. 8) <3

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