Saturday, May 03, 2014

A Story: If I Were A Boy

Warning: Not-so-nice language ahead. This was supposed to be a comedy-ish thing but then I got feels while writing it and so uh.

Here you go.

Waking up and finding out that my gender has changed from a girl to a guy, that means

What's this. It's like a weight has been taken off my chest. *touches*

HOLY SHIT I'M FLAT WHERE DID MY PRECIOUS BOOBS GO OH GOD

WHERE'S MUM OH GOD MUM I LOST MAI BOOBIES "MUUUM-"

... My voice.

... Hah. So God finally heard me pleas and made me a guy. Awesome. No more being emotional. No more period cramps. Heck I don't have to get pregnant. ... I am no longer lesbian now that I'm a guy am I.

*shifts in bed*

I felt something between my legs and freaked out a little. Oh, right. I have a dick now that I'm a guy. 

How does a morning wood look like? *... peeks*

ASDFHKJFGHDGK I HAVE A DEEK. AND IT'S HAAARRRD OH JUST LOOK AT IT OH MAI GAWD

... And then how it feels. Oh yes I would want to know how it feels. ... Oooh. 

And what are those two hairy soft things underneath mai piece of wood? Balls. Oh god they're unsightly. Sagging bags that I would have traded for my boobs to return. ... *touches*

Wow, much soft. 

... ... Self-discovery just about complete.

I need to pee. Oh so that's why they say it's hard to pee in the morning. Oh poor guys. 

Alright. Morning routine can be considered done. I shall now walk around the house in my boxers and ONLY my boxers and maybe I should go out and throw the trash while still wearing mai boxers.

I shall feel le wind all over mah boddey. 

And that's it for Morning and Day 1.

***

There isn't any proof that I was a girl before. All the pictures, data and even birth certificate seems to have stated my gender as 'Male'. It's as if I have always been a guy.

***

A few years later


"Hey, I swear, that girl was looking over at us." My buddy, Jon motioned with his books at a girl nearby. 


"I do believe that she's our classmate, really."

"Oops. Ahah."

I walked over. "Hey Sharon. We're going to le Italian cafe. Wanna join us for lunch?"

She looked as if she was feigning disinterest, shrugged and without ever looking me in the eyes, replied, "Sure, why not."

***

Years later


"Hey Sharon. You have always been there for me. You know, through the past 5 years, ever since I met you, you have been taking my breath away - in a good way. Remember those times when you would tell me what we would be like in years to come? I see those visions too. I see us together, happy, waking up to you every morning, having our first child and choosing a name together. I see us growing old, our children growing up and bringing along their toddlers, calling us grandpa a

nd grandma. I see us together, you know what I mean? 

Sharon, will you marry me?"

Her hands reached up to her face, hiding her crying face underneath. She laughed, cried, and in midst of it all she managed to nod and say, "Yes, yes I will."

***


I reached home and opened the door, still tense from my job. My boss was being unreasonable yet again. Tim and Sheila sat in front of the TV, screaming at each other fighting for the remote control.


My head throbbed.

"BE QUIET WON'T
YOU?!" The children were shocked and stopped arguing immediately. My wife looked at me, worried, a mug of freshly-brewed coffee in her hand.

"Are you alright?" She put the coffee down on a table and took my folders. Her voice still soothes me after all these years. I smiled at her, grateful that she still stuck around.

I told myself that I would never bring my work back home again.

***

When Sheila turned 23, she brought Aaron home. "Mum, dad, this is Aaron." I looked at him. Sheila has been through a few heartbreaks before this, and this time, she looks more certain than she has ever been.

She looked me dead in the eye, confident.

Aaron smiled at Sharon and I, and said 'hi'. 

Will my daughter be happy with this guy? Isn't it too early? He might treat her wrong. But she looks happy...

***

"This is it," I thought as I held my daughter's hand while she walked down the aisle. Aaron was waiting at the altar, a genuinely happy smile on his face. He gasped when he saw Sheila, dressed in a breathtaking white dress with a veil over her head. 

She turned out really beautiful, just like Sharon had been on the day we were married.

"Aaron," I addressed my son-in-law as I handed Sheila's hand to him. "if you make her as much as cry over you, remember that I keep a gun at home and I have been to the shooting ranges, pretending that I was shooting the guys that broke her heart years ago." Sheila let out a soft laugh and her lips quivered. I felt my eyes water. "Let her cry tears of happiness."

Aaron held Sheila's hands firmly, and nodded at me. "Don't worry, I will take good care of her. Thank you."

***

I took in the scent of Sharon's hair as she laid her head on my shoulder. It's been 40 years. Sharon started showing some white hair, and she had smile lines near her mouth.

Like all other married couples we had our ups and downs, but I am the luckiest guy alive to have found this beautiful wife of mine. She still stuck around after all these years. 

"I love you, Sharon." She smiled and gave me a peck on the lips.

2 comments:

  1. I love the ending so badly!! <3 Cute story, I really enjoyed reading this!

    http://thebitchslife.blogspot.com

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