Gushing over Boys

Hey there, fellow bloggers. It just so happened that my afternoon classes are cancelled so I have time to do some blogging here.

Have you seen Tatoru Yuki or known her in real life? If you do, you've probably decided that she's one of those forever alone people. … Which is somewhat true. But even foreveralone people has their own dreams and impossible fantasies of finally finding that someone who loves them as much as they do.

Tatoru Yuki here, she doesn't expect the impossible from the male humans. Well, not yet. Only that he should be smart and thoughtful of his actions. It would be a bonus if he wears glasses; Tatoru Yuki loves her boys in glasses, oh yes she does. It would help if the guy is not one that's too noisy. Imagine how loud they can get if arguments happen somehow. Can I also hope to share clothes with him? I do find guy jackets and shirts and pants and shoes irresistible. For a laugh, heck, he can wear my blouses and skirts if he wants to.

Oh. Books. Please, let him share my love for books. That, and he should be willing to watch horror movies with me. Though I do watch romance from time to time, horror is of a higher priority to me.

More bonus points for him if he agrees to hug me at least thrice a day.

Not much to ask for, is that?

But then it's said that as girls get older their expectations are higher, and one day my priorities might be that the guy agrees to do housework and can cook and take care of babies as well.

*Shrugs* What? No one knows what's going to happen in the future, alright?

Nope, even though I have daydreams of being with that one perfect guy one day, now's not the time. I've had a relationship back when I was 16. It lasted about a year and a half before we broke up, due to the fact that he simply stopped loving me and the distance between us was hard to bear. It was a long-distance relationship, and over the relationship we only met like, 5 times, if I did not remember wrongly.

So you see, having learnt lessons in that one relationship, I rationalized that I would have to be more mature than I was and am now to sustain my education, money, family and him. With ease I can get obsessed with a person easily, and I'm pretty sure that it's not a good trait to be shown just yet. Once I'm obsessed with a person, I'd always look for him/ her, hoping to hear more of his/ her voice, making more memories between us. I'd stalk their Facebook / Twitter account, look up their name on Google in hopes of finding more information about them, and simply get upset when he or she ignores me.

Not so nice now, am I?

Picture depicting two beautiful and sexy guys wearing specs. <3

Back to talking about relationships and boys though, I still need to get rid of the lingering fear of guys if I ever want to get into a successful relationship. I was raised in a girl school since I was 7, up till when I shifted to a mix school when I was 15. I did not attend tuition classes, nor did my close neighbours include guys my age, so there you have it, I was not used to the presence of guys. They are then not familiar to me, and I feared them somehow.

I can tell you that one of the factors as to why my previous relationship failed is that I was scared to even hold his hand or look him in the eye or even talk to him much because of, yes, that fear of guys. Plus, I did not get to meet him much, so the unfamiliarity was worse.

All the above reasons are why I currently chose to be fixated with 2D guys in anime series or characters from novels instead. There's no way the non-existent character that you like can hurt you when they can't even reach you, and you can stalk them all you like and in your imaginations, they still love you. Very much.

You get to hug that character in your imaginations, have him understand you and talk to you when you're lonely, and not to mention that their appearances are usually attractive-beyond-humanity. Ah yes, Tatoru Yuki actually gushes over non-existing guys more than she does on real humans. Sad life, aye.

But she's happy, and that's all that matters. After all, she still gets to steal glances at KT or NW when she's at college, and that's pretty awesome too.

Okay, I know that my mind is not all that healthy, what with imaginary boyfriends and stalking humans and fear of guys and all that. My life is largely unaffected by this, however, and so, I might just continue whatever I'm doing until the right guy comes, whenever it will be.

Let's take a moment to appreciate a stalker's efforts though.

Well, that's enough nonsensical rants for today. I'll see you tomorrow, I hope.

Nicki Sim

Tatoru Yuki's Rantings. Powered by Blogger.