Dear Past Me,


You are about 10 or 11 now. You're still reading and collecting those Enid Blyton books, aren't you? And let me guess, mum still gives you 10 or 20 pages of homework before she allows you to go on the computer to type in stories or play Pinball.

These years will be when you start learning Japanese and memorizing those anime opening and ending songs. And one of these years you had your first crush on a boy you met in your school bus. Ken was his name, wasn't it? *nudge nudge wink*

I also know that someone from your kindergarten that you are still in contact with, a Malay boy, Muzaiffah gave you a small piece of paper with a scribbled "I <3 you" at the back of it.

You were angry and threw that paper in his face. *laughs*

But watch it, you. You are dropping from top three in class to about 5 or 6th place now. Study harder, okay? And stop playing too many games on le computer.

Oh, nice surprise to you here. You're gonna get your first long-lasting best friend. Let me give you a clue in case you are not that close with her yet. Her name's initials are CTJW. x)

Lots of Love,

Tatoru Yuki.

Nicki/ Yuki,

Hey you. Yeah, this 12 - 14 years old you. That's your current age range right? Sorry I can't pinpoint my own history. And uh. I threw away your diary because it's too embarrassing and pathetic to read through.


Oh hey, congrats on getting that Straight A's for UPSR. That was your first milestone wasn't it? =D You called your parents upon reading your name list and finding out that you have that results. You criiied, silly you. But I get it. All those months spent 'tortured' by Puan Maimunah and Miss Leong. You're finally graduating primary school! Congratulations once more ^^ So proud of you.

Well well well, look who's labelled as an anime addict now, copying words from Japanese-English dictionaries and fell for Japanese culture sooooo hard. 

Hey, even if you're 13 and is now so-called 'higher level' than primary school kids doesn't mean you can give them that fierce look to scare them away kay. You already look fierce with your default face. YOU KNOW THAT. Smile, Nicki.

Look at you and your girl crush. Stop stalking that senior, damn it you XD Well up to you really. It was fun. Might as well get rid of your fear of your senpai-senpai.

Dis is le age when you start wearing black jackets and go all emo. It REALLY is a phase, mai dear. HAHAH. 

Ey. Same thing ah, study more. I know mum doesn't let you go hangout with friends yet. Once in a PINK moon. But patience. PAAATIENCE. You don't know how to have fun yet anyway.

And hey, I know you're in an argument with your best friends and it's been months since you guys talked or greeted each other... But don't be sad kay? One day you will just start talking to her again and it'll be as if nothing has changed. x) Cheer up, you. 

Tatoru Yuki.

Turtle Yuki-san,

Hey, girl. Heyyyy. It's alright. I know this form 4 stuff is hard, and you miss your boyfriend that you don't get to see much and you miss your friends, but hey, it's all okay. You'll get through this, okay? You can do this. 

For starters, congratulations on that straight A for PMR too. =) You didn't disappoint me. You mixed pretty well with your new friends even if you are afraid that the guys would approach you. You're doing well. It's new to you, you didn't have much contact with boys at all, so it's alright. You'll get past this too, I assure you.

Study harder. You're having some trouble dealing with Chemistry and uh... that problem still persists a little now. Drags your grades down a bit. So help me a bit and study this subject harder? If you do, you might get that straight A+ for SPM you know? You missed this subject. You got an A instead. But it's okay. Just try your best.

You're 16. You think that it's the right age to try out a relationship for your first time, and this guy you 'met', is just so nice to you. I know, I know. You like him a lot. You're still with him now aren't you? Try not to be so shy and take a bit of initiatives instead of shying away whenever he gets close to you? He's your boyfriend, sweetheart. You can hug him and hold his hands. He would guide you through your studies, and you would guide him in his as well. It's a healthy relationship. Good job, you.

He's going to take away your first kiss, you know? *laughs* don't be shy now. You'd even attempt to take initiative to kiss him first and you actually did it. You were a nervous wreck, but you did it, even if it was awkward. It's okay. Just make sure you study well. =) Happy Sweet Sixteen, Turtle-chan. Ganbatte ne ^^

Lots of support, 
Tatoru Yuki.


Get more sleep. Get rid of those panda eyes you got from SPM - 

Actually that doesn't matter cause you're gonna get them again this year anyway. Congrats on your SPM results. It might not exactly be what you expected or hoped for but it's still good, okay? =D 

Legal 18 this year baybeh, are you excited? 8) Bet you are. This year's the best year of your life (Up to this point anyway). Enjoy college, and hey, you're gonna meet some real nice people that are truly supportive. You love this hostel lifestyle don't you?

You are going socializing a lot more than you ever did, and you're enjoying it. Hey look at you, I told you that you'd overcome your fear of guys. The ones you meet here are real friendly aren't they? They made you a part of their group. Appreciate it, Turtle. Cause by the next year most of them would have gone elsewhere. But really, make the most you got out of this year in college.

You would be motivated to study because of that group of friends as well. In the end you would be teaching them a bit. And you were really motivated by that. They accepted you for who you are, Turtle. =) 

Here you would meet a guy or two that got into your heart. You would fall head over heels in love, you silly. But not so soon yet. Have fun while it lasts, okay? And remember to be more daring this time! 

I don't even have to worry much about your studies anymore at this point.Try not to socialize too much until you neglect your studies though, because this current me writing a letter to you here knows that you can do better. Much better. 

But still, take care anyway kay? You're improving a lot at this stage of life.

Keep it up,
Tatoru Yuki.

Future Me,

I have not gone to uni yet, but hey, 20 years old me. I hope that you're doing well there. I hope you are alright with the course that you signed up for and is loving your studies. I hope you found more friends and that you are more rational and less gullible.

I hope you are now more like a normal girl, or at least more girlish and better with fashion. How's life in KL? I'm a little afraid of what I might find when I go there, you know. But I have friends there that would help me if anything happens or if I need some guidance.

Please don't get dragged into immoral activities. Be and stay a good girl. Don't rush into yet another relationship, okay? I want you to have your best chance. It might not be in university that you find it, but I hope that you will do well. 

Focus more on your studies, alright? For le full tuition fee waiving if not your future job. I have high hopes in you. 

Try not to disappoint me?

Take care of yourself,
Tatoru Yuki.

Nicki Sim

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