Friday, February 28, 2014

Procrastinator mode ACTIVATED

So I have even procrastinated for two days without blogging. Two days ago, 26th February 2014, I was basically out from 8.30a.m. in the morning to about 12a.m. and I was simply too exhausted to do anything else besides taking a shower and then heading to the sweet comfort of my bed. 

You see, I went out that day to meet my employer and discuss the progress of my work, which he said is done well and I have done more than what he expected. 8) And now I'm unemployed because I need to look for new jobs and that tuition job I said I secured? Well my mum is not satisfied with that place and the lack of students and asked me to withdraw my application. 

Unemployed. 

Anyhoo, I managed to arrive at le college around 5.30pm, just in time for le end of le last class and to catch moi lecturer that I was supposed to meet. Got my graduation photos as you can see - real dope, and hey, that's more memories I can keep! I look tall in the picture ahahaha xD

The lecturer was stressed about her last class and forgot to wait for me in the lab D:

And I knew that I was indeed a little too observant when I knew some people Cavan was with that day. With all the pictures he has been tagged in, I think most of us would actually recognize those course mates. 

My oh my, he's got quite a number of friends. No worries about him not socializing then. Oh who am I kidding, he's an extrovert. xD 

With all le friends around, well, we talked a little and that's it. I went to le hostel later to find Ryana and happened to meet Wendy who just arrived back with her dinner. 

Talk talk talk talk talk talk. That's about it really before we went to Pappa Rich to get dinner.


Afterwards while Wendy went back upstairs to study for her exams, Ryana stayed at the lobby with her laptop and I just walked around the campus - It was really windy! - and finally settled for walking at the field and basketball courts for quite some time. It was empty. Feels awesome to be singing and dancing and whatnot ... ALONE. It's as if I had the whole place to myself and I liked that feeling. 8)

Would have been better if mai dude had time to come over for a bit though, but I don't blame him. He's got topic tests and presentations to settle. If we're still together after his studies end, hopefully by then we get to actually go out. Looking forward to that. =)

Stayed in campus until 10.45pm. Ryana went back home around 10.30pm as she has not classes until the next Monday. Thanks for accompanying me though Ryana 8) Walked around quite a bit more before I went back home, somehow exhausted. 

At least I got out of my house, I guess. x)

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Downsides of Being a Banana

The word 'Fly' in traditional Chinese character, much more complex than the simplified version.

A Banana is defined in Malaysia and Singapore as a Chinese that can't write or read Chinese and possibly can't speak it either.

I'm sorta a banana. I can speak pretty well since it's my first language at home, and I can read it quite some - I am capable of reading Chinese novels. Most of the time I recognize the word as a whole and know the rough meaning but won't know how to pronounce it. It's like knowing what a symbol means without knowing how the people in the past pronounces it. ... Those are basically the same thing XD

Being a banana probably means that your English or some other language skills are better than those who are good at Chinese. But then, being a banana has its downsides as well.

Some comparison between traditional ans simplified Chinese characters.

Scholarships

As a recent college graduate, I find myself looking for scholarships from newspapers and the Chinese ones, well, they put this "SPM Chinese results" box in their form. You don't take Chinese  papers in your exams, you miss this scholarships which you Might get.

But then, the standards for Chinese is pretty high in le exams anyway, and you probably have to score up to like, 87 or so to get an A. Maybe. I don't know the standards, but from what I know it's the main subject that causes Chinese students to miss their Straight A+ results.

Chinese characters are logical sometimes XD

Job

Well you see, I went to my brother's primary school today to ask about this replacement teacher job. As it turns out, without a Credit in Chinese for SPM in my certificates, I am not eligible to apply. It's the rules. Some jobs where I am now requires some level of proficiency in Chinese and I don't think I'll pass. Back when I was in primary school about le age of 11, I tried taking the entrance exam to one of the best Chinese secondary schools. I got top results for English and Malay - 93++, and my Maths paper was so so, 63 marks because I found the questions, which was in Chinese, hard to understand. My Chinese paper... I got only 16 marks. 

So you see. Although I thought that English is way more important than Chinese - and it still stands true in some other places, it turns out that Chinese is still quite an important language, and I can only hope that my level of proficiency is enough for me to survive in the society.

It's an achievement for bananas to learn something new in Chinese!

Singing

Oh gosh. Let's say you're in the karaoke. And you pick a few nice Chinese songs. And you didn't know the lyrics, but you're in the karaoke, so it's okay. They display the lyrics on the screen for you to follow.

Then the song speeds up, and you find your reading speed not enough to chase up with the song. A banana like me takes a longer time to read a Chinese article than an average Chinese would. Even at normal speeds, you'd hear me sing a Chinese song like " *sings* *pauses at unknown word* *sings* *long pause as a long train of weird Chinese character pops up at fast speed* *gives up*". It's harder than you think.

Tryna chase the Chinese lyrics be like

So yes, guys. For those who are already studying Chinese and due to take this subject in your exams, keep it up, good luck, and increase your language proficiency in some other languages. To bananas, I understand you guys. Cheers.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Being productive at home = Impossible

Truth to be told, I'm actually quite a lazybum and a huge procrastinator. You can give me an easy assignment to do within 4 months and I'll still only have it done at the final week or even day because There Are Too Much Distractions.
Productiveness at home = - 100

Such as my lovely laptop and le even lovelier internet.

I don't know, maybe it's being too comfortable or being at home that pushes all the motivations to work away. Home is the place we relax, and so, nope, it's not quite the best or most productive place for you to work or study. At least, I know that it's not for me. 

Mai level of productiveness at home might as well be like -100.

You send me off to type an e-mail to someone and I might just end up being on Facebook, completing one or two digital drawings and making one blog post. I can finish other less important stuff than my work when I'm at home. x)

I like the idea of having to move around instead of just sitting at a place for hours when I work. Even better, working with minimal human interaction but also get to walk around. 

I have been interviewed at a nearby tuition center today, for teaching Physics and possibly Chemistry to 17-year-old humans. I'm teaching in Malay, English or both because not all students are Chinese. Then I asked if there were any vacancies in a Popular bookstore nearby as well, since the tutoring job will only take up to 4 hours in one week. In fact, it's all done within 1 day.

Mum suggested that I work at home, do home tutoring when I am not outdoors working. That would earn me quite some money also. Might as well start saving for a car of my own, I suppose. But university funds first. Cars, apartments - those come later. New phones only when my current phone is broken. Priorities.

How I might end up studying tonight xDD
Well, since I have taken up this tutoring job, I think it's high time I leave my laptop to be alone for several hours while I go back to studying. Ah, to be studying with purpose once again. x)

Although, yes. I am doubting that I will not procrastinate that as well.

I mean, look. I'm blogging now am I not xD

But yes, studying is fun and I'll tend to it when I am offline after this =) 

Do you guys manage to get any work done where you feel comfortable? At the couch, maybe? Or in front of the TV or laptop? There's gotta be a place where you find yourself unable to focus long enough to work efficiently, ain't there? xD

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Dedications

So like maybe 1 month ago, I posted a status, in which I said I would make something - a story, an artwork, SOMETHING - for ten people that comments 'I'm in!' and in return they too have to repost that status as their own and make something for their own 10 other friends.

Approximately 1 month later, I have finished only ONE artwork, and have been trying to make better ones ever since to fulfill that promise, which I am supposed to finish by the end of 2014. 

Yet today, I received this short and sweet story from a friend whose status I commented 'I'm in!' on. Just to show you guys how well this friend of mine, Celine Wu, writes, here. Do read, enjoy, and comment on the story in the comments section if you want. Once again, thank you Celine for writing this story for me. I love you. x)

Some Bridges are Meant to Burn

It probably says a lot about my up-bringing when my first thought after seeing my boyfriend with another girl is that I'm going to kill him. Or maybe everyone's right when they say I have a few screws loose. Not that I'd know; I definitely don't care either way.
But if someone says I'm overreacting, I'll cut their heads off. Because I'm definitely not.
There is no doubt that my douchebag boyfriend is cheating on me. Especially when he has both hands down this girl's pants.
I don't blame her though. Royce is handsome, rich, seductive. I've been with him long enough to know that he can be sweet and romantic; submissive and nurturing, too.
And as much as I love him, I don't think I can handle such treachery from him. Not again.
-----
You'd think someone as smart as Royce - straight A student in high school with a 3.8 GPA in college, rising star in the medical world - would be able to lie better about what he was doing when he was going behind my back. 
But no, he buys me something expensive, as usual, with a sheepish grin on his face that screams guilty conscience, and apologises for being late coming home tonight. 
You'd think someone as smart as Royce would think to be more cautious around me when he knows my penchant for keeping everything in the kitchen nice and sharp.
You'd think he'd scream as loudly as possible when I plunge a knife into his abdomen, twisting it as carelessly as possible once it entered his body right to the hilt. 
You'd think he'd try to throw me off, fight his way out of here, but he just lies there.
You'd think he'd look less surprised when I pull the knife out and draw a thin line of crimson across his neck, not quite ready to finish the job yet.
You'd think he'd be begging for forgiveness right now, pleading for his life. But no, he's looking at me with his face paler than I've ever seen it, sweat beading across his forehead. Whoops, shock must be setting in then. Definitely shouldn't have done so much twisting so near the intestines.
You'd think it'd be over by now.
------
I really, really hate the sound of screaming. Especially when it's still night time. I mean, come on, don't you have any decency? Some people are still sleeping sweetheart. I know it's difficult to see your lover bleeding out on his own bed, but seriously, take it down a notch.
The girl Royce was with (I can't remember her name, but I know it's something ridiculous like Camrynn or something) faints just seconds after entering our bedroom. How convenient. She wakes up when I start carving obscenities into her face, though.
And let me tell you, tiny penmanship really gets fucked up when your paper starts moving. Well, more pain for her then.
Somehow, the girl thinks it's smart to try and kick me even though her hands and feet and bound. I reach behind her and grab her hands. Slowly, I start lifting them up. Before long, she's screaming again. It takes some effort, but I hear the satisfying crack of a bone or two breaking. This time, she shuts up and stays still when I ask her to.
Unfortunately, all the cutting and maiming gets boring way too quickly. Especially when no one dares to speak out or anything.
I run the knife I used on Royce before up the girl's spine, as deep as I can. It was fun to see how slowly I could hit something vital, but not quite fun enough.
Royce is passed out now, lips blue. I kiss them softly and swiftly, before replacing my lips with the knife.
I guess my work's done.
Bye, Royce. You really shouldn't have kept me around. Especially after that dementia diagnosis.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Best friends as partners - Yes or no?

So I stumbled upon this 'quote' thing earlier this morning and it really got me thinking. 

Like Jason Mraz's song 'Lucky', I have always imagined it one of the best experiences and feelings to be in love with your best friend.

A best friend, you see, is someone that you would tell everything to, little details of your life, and they share with you theirs. You basically know all there is to know about them, and when in trouble, this best friend is the first person that you would turn to.

You would know your best friend the best, how to make him or her feel better when they are upset, how to surprise them and brighten their day, and basically, you guys are already loving each other, in a 'bro' or 'dude' way.

I don't know, guys, some of you may not agree with me, but I think that having your best friend as your partner is really awesome.

Sure, after your best friend and you get into a relationship there may be some new tensions, and some conflicts like, "This is not how you treat a boyfriend. It's like nothing has changed!" or "I think we are better off as friends." but really, if you already are a best friend to that partner of yours, it won't be too difficult to start treating him or her better, would it?

After all, you would have treated your best friend well enough to start with. Consistency is good for quite some time, is it not?

Maybe some of my readers out there already tried this type of relationship and it might have worked out. Either way, do comment and share your opinions about this. Are best friends the best candidates for a relationship or not? 

Friday, February 21, 2014

Let le Imaginations Run Wild - Afterlife

What do you guys imagine death to be like? Just dying, and then nothing? Or do you imagine that you would be floating around in space for an indefinite time, watching over those still living? Reincarnation maybe? 

I don't know, guys. But let's just say that I can control what my world is going to be like after my death, I would make sure that the way I live is not much different from what my current life is like. 

Make it feel as if I'm living on, you know. Maybe in the afterlife you still have to work to earn your promised happiness in heaven and that job is what you really wanted in your life - to sloth around and gain money, but you have to sloth really good or else you won't get your pay. Hmmm.

Either that, of I choose to become a ghost visible to many other people and pull pranks on them. Like maybe if you were trying to sleep and couldn't do so, I'll octopus-dance from one end of your room to another before squishing my face against your window saying, "Hey baby."

Being a ghost like this would probably be even scarier than having one that throws knives at your because its actions are hard to predict AHAHAHA

Plus it sounds fun.
But then again, if we can choose to reincarnate immediately as a pet of our loved ones, that sounds pretty awesome too.

Intrude their lives forever and ever until that life of ours ends as well. For starters, you still get to accompany le loved ones and be cared for right back, just that you don't get to talk to them or tell them how much you miss being able to join them in their daily lives. 

Okay so it's actually kind of sad. Plus after such reincarnation I guess we won't even remember how we loved them and turn out to become some kind of scumbag cat or dog. 

So up to date I have 3 possible choices of actions. IF I CAN DO WHAT I WANNA IN LE AFTERLIFE. But heck, what does a 19-year-old know about the best type of afterlife? xD


Nightmares

Daily Prompt: Describe the nightmare you remember having. What do you think it means?

Nightmares?? I don't usually have nightmares, and I never had one that made me jump more so weird dreams that I wake up and try to comprehend afterwards.

I don't know, people. At the age of 19 I still love carousels.
But let's see. Last night I dreamt of the theme park again, with beautiful carousels, booth games, performances, roller coasters and all. It's MY theme park. A place I have yet to visit in real life and don't even know if it really exists.

But I frequent this place in my dream, and I now think of it as my own theme park.

I think I got lost.

Rarely do I dream of the same person joining me in this theme park in my dreams, which is something I wonder about as well.

But you know what? The theme park dreams lately, I have been with Cavan, someone really important to me.

And last night, when I was with him in that dream, I found myself lost in that familiar place. Or rather, I lost sight of him. It was all fine and then suddenly I turn back and found out that he's missing and I couldn't find him even though the theme park was not that crowded D: Dreams like this make me wake up feeling sad because I see them as bad omens and reflections of my own thoughts that day. 

Sure, nowadays we are not as close as we used to be back in 2013, but I having the tiny details like this crept into my dreams are quite unpleasant. I don't dream of monster or dying. Sad dreams are my nightmares. They make me feel down for quite some time until I find something else that makes my day afterwards. 

Maybe dreams like this are trying to tell me what I am paranoid about, or what I have been hiding away from. Either way, by the end of the day I would have forgotten most parts of the dream if I don't keep reminding myself about it.

On a side note, I'm actually happy that I don't get those Nightmares nightmares. Like, scary ones. I don't remember having any, and hopefully I never will. 8) 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Far From Normal

Daily Prompt: Many of us think of our lives as boringly normal, while others live the high life. Take a step back, and take a look at your life as an outsider might. Now, tell us at least six unique, exciting or just plain odd things about yourself.

Hmmm. I do consider my life just boring and probably the same with everyone else's. Six points? Challenge accepted.

1. I am not as calm as I may seem


I naturally look calm or expressionless, maybe even grumpy. But that's just how I look.

However, behind this 'expressionless' thing, for all you know I may be high thinking about gay smex or how to kill my boyfriend. 

My mind is very... scattered, so to speak though most of the time while I may look as normal as the girl sitting next to you in class. If my thoughts were to be penned down, it would be something like:

his voice sharp knives wanna play the piano work money studies i need you distract don't feel what if he's not there smell blood water's running am I real does she hate me what is life need him need him need him kill him love him... ...

2. I'm not smart. I'm super slow.

Saying this, because many of my friends and even some of my family members think that I am smart. I am not. I work hard, and that's it. I have to work real hard when it comes to my studies as I am not really a bright person. I'm slow, be it in relationships or studies or understanding a situation or figuring out what I need to do.

True to my Turtle nickname. 8)

Some people, my sister, for instance, she is smarter than I am, and her results are better than mine although she studies less. Whereas I spent my days studying and burying myself in worksheets and textbooks before exams (I love studying anyway), she stays online and plays her games. And still gets better results than I do.

Which is why I have always told my friends. "Dude(s). You're smart. You just haven't work hard enough." 

3. I talk to myself a lot.

Some late nights when I can't fall asleep no matter how I toss and turn and count turtles, I would resort to talking to myself.

In two voices.

I would tell 'my other self' about my day, my problems, and it helps, just a little. Foreveralone much? xD

Like many other people I'd make up scenarios in my head and then feel happy about those made-up stuff and then drop back to a low point when I realize that I have been living in my head again. 

Sometimes those scenarios would still lead to me talking to myself again. No harm done though, I guess.

4. I am paranoid, obsessive and over-attached

Do I look like this type of person? DO I??? Well I AM this type of person. I think a LOT, especially on bad stuff.

I see some other girl getting attention from mai personal XY-chromosome human, I see her as an enemy. I obsess. I stalk his Facebook when I can't see him. I read all his posts since the beginning of his Facebook account, add him to my close friends list so that I can monitor his activities on Facebook everyday, I download his pictures and in short stalk my own boyfriend happily and would have the intention to hurt le girl that tries to take him away from me. He's mine. MINE. 8) BODY AND SOUL.

So how's that for getting to know Tatoru Yuki? Changed your opinion of her much? 8) I hope I didn't scare you off, my people. But actually you guys are all mine too. 8) <3

5. Bewbs + Booty = Bewty = Beauty

Nope, no pictures for this. 8) I have far more interest in boobs and booties compared to any normal girls. Such beauty, can't help loving. Bless te creation that is boobs and booties. My best-est friends and I would touch each others' just because we can, but no, we are not lesbian. Such is le attitude and style of the girls who graduated from girl schools. 

I appreciate butts and boobs so much at some point of my life I wondered if I was really lesbian or what. But since I have my dude and I love him more than any boobs or booties, I assume that I am totally straight. ... He has a nice butt as well though. 8) Man booties are appreciated also. 8) 

6. i don't know can we end this?

It turns out that my life is really so ordinary that I have nothing much to say about it. D: 

here, take this link to make up for it. http://dogeminer.se/#

For doge fans and also those who likes simulation games. 8)

adios, I'm off to make some other drawings!!!

Update: I left this game running and bought from le store every once in a while from 4pm and finally got all the upgrades by 1a.m. 7 hours of pure doge. #nolife

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Jobs!

SPM taken in 2012.
Official transcript obtained 2 years afters.
Today I went back to my secondary school to get the official SPM transcript which I knew nothing about until maybe one month ago. 

But then I figured that they can't just throw something this important away so I only went there today, 'armed' with a book I've read halfway through, a bottle of water, some cash, earphones and a phone.

I reached this place around 9.30a.m. and left around 1.30p.m. , with the official transcript in hand and the book done reading.

Meanwhile, I have been wondering about the job I should take on while the project I'm doing is on hold.

So far, I have narrowed down le jobs to these three: Tuition teacher, cashier or whatever at le book store, or ... ... Well guess I have only two jobs I want for now xD Oh. But it would be interesting to be working in places dealing with book publications as well.

But for now, I have applied for tutoring jobs in which I had experiences from before.

I wrote a resume for the first time in my life today. 8) An achievement and a new experience. I like the feeling of working for a fixed time each day, it gives me something to look forward to, which at this point can either be to work or to go back home.

I'm not sure yet if my parents would allow but I really would like to work in a library or a bookstore, where I can arrange books and assist people in finding the books they want. My patience has limits sometimes when it comes to teaching and what's more, I am going to need to study again if I want to teach le kids. All I still have in my mind are some biology and mathematics stuff. 

I guide more than I teach. It's easier for them to ask me questions and have me answer them than let me stand in front of a bunch of students and tell them about subject-verb agreement. English is not easy to teach, on the other hand.

*crosses fingers hoping I can cope when I get whatever job that lands in my lap first*

On the other hand, friends have bee suggesting that I go work at Starbucks so that they can get complementary free coffee. Being a barista would probably be interesting as an experience in my life but it might not help me much. 

I won't mind the free coffee, however. 8)

Monday, February 17, 2014

Eat, Sleep, Live

Recently I have not been feeling quite well, not wanting to eat and still can't sleep before 2 or 3 a.m.. It's this eating thing that troubled me more since I am aware that I have not been eating enough for le nutrients and whatnot.

I drink water a lot, and sleep for 8 hours or more a day (although, admittedly, only after 2 a.m.) 

I have been sharing lunch and dinner with my sister these past few days and I woke up after breakfast time.

Okay. So I'm not sick enough to be unable to take a
selfie for this blog post and #100happydays.
So probably I deserved being sick. =P

I'd rant at many of my friends for not taking care of themselves and tell them to drink lots of warm water, sleep early that night, eat despite their appetite but being not-so-healthy now myself, I understand how it feels to not want to eat. D: and how sometimes despite how tired we all are, we just can't sleep.

Being sick only means that my daily activities are more LIMITED though. Less hours on the internet, more spent in bed with a nice book cuddling with le minion plush toy, play le radio, then go to le piano, and at night, do some stretching activities and try sleep as early as I can.

Take care, my readers. Prevention is better than cure, so try not to get sick at all.

Meanwhile, I'll just log off for now and write better content tomorrow! Back to le book and piano. =)


Sunday, February 16, 2014

Proud, 100 Happy Days

Daily Prompt: When was the last time someone told you they were proud of you?

I guess we all hope to get approval
from others?
*sits on chair, legs and arms folded thinking, deep in thoughts, staring into le soul of my Asus laptop*

You know, I can't remember. Maybe it was when I received that Outstanding Academic Achievement thing last year, said by le parents. But then I can't remember them actually SAYING it to me either. 

...

Boy do I feel disappointed now.

But ish okeii cause altho I can't remember the last time someone said they were proud of me, I can do with just 'thanks!' and some appreciation. 

Cavan finally viewed le video I made for him and he said that it was awesome and thanked moi for eet. 8) Made me happy enough.

It's funny how we always tell others stuff like, "No, you are awesome the way you are. You're a wonderful person. Don't let yourself think otherwise!" yet we still hope for some sort of appreciation or approval from the others.

Being a blogger means that we would be obsessing over the stats - number of views, comments, followers, et cetera. Post a video on YouTube and you reload the analytic page hoping to see the increase in number of views and likes. And we have not started talking about Facebook, Instagram and Twitter yet.

I think it's a pleasant feeling when someone is happy or proud of you. Simple words can brighten up one's day easily and act as a way to motivate. 

It is good to be happy as well. =) Which brings me to this.


I have started on this little 'project' on Valentine's Day. It's a very simple task, which asks you to post a picture of something that makes you happy and you use a public hashtag #100happydays for 100 days in a row. 

You can choose to post it on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Tumblr. And if you want some privacy, so that you won't have to post your pictures with privacy set to 'Public', you can add your own personal hashtag for them to track you.

Total privacy? Just e-mail them. You can check the details at the website I have given above. If you decide to join, I wish you all the best in completing all 100 days of this challenge!

By the end of the 100-day challenge, you will have your 100-pages book which is filled with stuff tht made you happy the past 100 days!

It makes you count your blessings and reminds you to cherish things around you, so I believe it's good for us. 8) Try it out if you haven't. It only takes about 5 minutes of your time a day.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Don't Feel!

Oh God Oh God Oh God what the hell was I thinking/ doing yesterday all those emotions oh god why

You see. Yesterday I was really upset. So upset that I cried to my friend at 1.30 a.m. through the phone and was THIS close to making rash decisions.

Imagine waking up with le first thought:
OhGodWhy
Let's just say that yesterday I was at mai limit, emotionally. Kept all the sadness and anger in for quite some time and finally the pot boiled over and Boom. 

PMS-ing dinosaur firing cannon of tears at her hoomans. *facepalms out of shame*

I think what really triggered this emotion crap was when I texted le minion asking if he could join me at le mall and he told me that he couldn't make it. Maybe I was hoping he'd come over. Maybe I was actually wanting to celebrate this stupid Valentine's thing with him even though I told myself I don't give a shoot. Probably a part of me was jealous of his friends. ... Well yes I was. Ahah. But that was silly. And after a moment - 4 hours to be exact - I regained mai rational self and it was all fine again.

Too bad tho cause by the time I was 'all fine again' I already fired a spamload of emotional messages in his inbox *digs hole in ground and buries self alive in it*

What emotional creature was it that took over me yesterday damn it.

I also managed to show all 570 Facebook friends of mine how emotional I was by posting stupid statuses because I felt like it.

I could relate to this picture last night with
all dat emotions.
Reminder to self: Never go near Facebook when you're upset. You'll post stupid stuff that you'll regret over later.

Deleted those posts this morning, but not before they already got like 10+ likes. *shudders* To you guys who read le statuses, pretend it didn't happen.

In fact, to everyone who was involved in my emotional crap last night, erase those memories.

So around 1 a.m. when everyone else in le family was asleep I got up, took my phone, and right at this time a  close friend, MW, saw one of my crappy statuses and asked me about it.

Cue 50 minutes of talk about le relationship and doubts and sadness and studies and even her lecturers and maybe 10 minutes of tears. She knows me well enough, and supports me a lot whenever I need a shoulder to lean on. And she happens to sleep just as late - maybe even later - as I do, so it works. 

More OhGodWhy's
Sorry for taking up so much of your time when your boyfriend is there with you!! OMO"" But thanks nevertheless. I felt really better after le phone call.

After the phone call, I was really determined and set on a decision involving le minion. A bad decision. Fortunately he was not quite free at the moment when I was about to tell him my decision. 

Got a little sleep between 2 to 3a.m.++ and then he was free and I managed to call him and interrogate him (not quite???) in my half-asleep mode. DO YOU STILL CARE. ARE YOU STILL MAI BF. DUDE YOU NO CARE ABOUT ME LIAO I VERY SAD.  Y U NO SPARE TIME FOR MOI. Imagine being bombarded with questions like these at 3 friggin a.m. 

He got la patience to explain and answer my questions. =P Kudos to that. Half an hour of weird shit emotional talk that I wasn't normally capable of. 

Sorry bae D:
"Don't cry for me. It's not worth it.", he said, when I was so close to start crying all over again. "I'm not as good as you think." At least I didn't embarrass myself even further by sobbing out loud to him.

He asked me what I wanted for a belated Valentine's Day celebration. I really had nothing in mind. and if anything, it's really just to spend time with him. That's all. He said that I would usually tell him "I don't know" when we go out to questions like "Where do you wanna go? What do you wanna eat?" and that I was expecting him to make all the decisions. I did not deny, because that was the truth. Every hangout with friends I have never been the one to make decisions. I'd just arrive there and ask le others what they want instead. 
MAI LOVE FOR YOU BAYBEH

I guess I was just used to that. My replies to decision-making questions are usually "I don't know" or "Never mind" or "Up to you.". Something to change. =)

In short we knew our problems by le end of le call around 4a.m..

There were long pauses in le conversation - I fell asleep halfway through and he suddenly talked and thus woke me up - and ... admittedly I am not good in talks like these. I can't quite tell him what I have in mind. But I got le message across, and it was all fine.

oh and I managed to try play with a wig
last night AHAHAHA
THIS LOOK I SWEAR XDD
All le events led up to me feeling ashamed of myself right now and posting about it as a solemn reminder to myself to never repeat this mistake of getting all emotional and regretting it the morning after. 

If there is anything that made it somehow better, well, all le bottled up stress and sadness are gone after crying last night and I feel so light I CAN FLYYYYYY 8)

Thank you, all le awesome hoomans I know who were involved last night.

And to end le post, I beg you guys.

FORGET ALL THAT.

PRETEND IT DID NOT HAPPEN.

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Merry Valentine's 8)

Hey Baby <3
Hi, hoomans. Hiii, to all mai favourite hoomans. Yeah, you are one of them too, you, the one reading this post. Feel special today,  because you are now one of my, like, maybe 30 favourite hoomans from 7 billion other homo sapiens living on this Earth.

So, Valentine's, right? I'm supposed to write some diabetes stuff for my favouritest hooman a.k.a. le boyfie or something? 

Awkward. And I think Imma laugh and blush a lot while writing this embarrassing post. But then, challenge accepted. Let's go all mushy for this one blog post. 8) Once in a year after all, aye? WELL IMMA TRY. 

Deeaaarrr Darlin',

It's been 103 days since you became moi boyfie and made me a Very, VERY happy Turtle. Correction, ONLY 103 days. Waiting for our 1000th day. Or maybe our 10,000th. *over-attached gf expression* Please don't be scared by the number shussshhh it's going to be alright.

Fangirling over le boyfie like
I know our relationship started more on impulse and adrenaline than anything else, and how we got together because of mere infatuations, but by now, the infatuation has yet to wear off and if anything, I think that infatuation got replaced with this full-blown life-threatening disease called Love liao. (Facepalms myself because I cannot stand what I'm writing)

Aiyaa, you mai boyfriend liao of course I love you ma, need to say de meh? I shy leh. You know can d la hor. (Malaysian accent all out when shy AHAHAH)

Eh but you know ah, you very awesome leh. Fun to be with. And huge bonus points for being so cute. Walao, 赚到了。I keep you forever la hor? 

Previously even before we got together I didn't know what is it that I like about you. The feelings, most probably. One does not simply deny the feelings. Am still wondering how you even fell for someone like me to start with because I am really, uh, weird, to say le least. Doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you liking me CAUSE I SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE MAI BF NAO But over le 103 days there are some stuff that I realized I really liked about you.

Le poke-and-run!!!
I'm a voice-fanatic. I love your voice. 8) Super love your hugs 'cause ASDFGHJKL. I like when we go out and there isn't anyone else we know and I get to hold joo hands and try memorize how you look like when you are not paying attention. 

Sometimes I'd just poke your sides and laugh when you jump, shocked. In return you'd either tickle me or bite moi hands. Then sometimes when I was just shy and do nothing around you, you don't get discouraged and would take the lead instead. I appreciate that. =)

Walao. You very cute leh. Beh tahan. Go out with you look so mismatched. D: 

Up to date we didn't actually meet much cause you got classes and I don't, and Kulai is so far away from Permas!!! D: Let's hope we get to meet more after you graduate k? I hope this year also get to celebrate your birthday, wherever we will be by then. :3 October is still quite far away! 

Oh laling. I put joo before mai love for yaoi and chocolates. Do you realize how important joo are to me after I say dat? 8) SUPER important desu. 8) Opposites we might be, but opposites attract ma, hor? So this can work la hor??? Worked so far lei. Can lah can lah. =P

I know I never really show mai lurve for joo even tho I might tell you dat I miss you and all that, BUT DUUUDEEE. Joo must know dat I love joo k. 

If after like 6 or 7 years like that we still together I propose to you la hor. 

Oh God Why did I even try writing a love letter this is not even close. *facepalms* 

Laling 你知道我心意就好啦~\(≧▽≦)/~

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Let me Sleep D:

It's taking me longer and longer to fall asleep these days. Wrecked body clocks. Reckon I probably just didn't get myself tired enough to sleep before 2 or 3 a.m. 

Maybe it's got to do with how I only wake up by 12 or 1p.m. as well. o3o" 

I'll probably try wake up around 10a.m. for le next few days and see if that helps. 

The thing is, while I sleep only in le wee hours in le morning, my family is the type that sleeps pretty early. Around 11pm or 12a.m.. Le parents would then urge me to just go sleep as well, saying how sleeping late is bad for my health.

Yeah, I think I'll just try sleep early tonight la hor. It's all pretty much a matter of whether or not I can get myself to fall asleep really.

What do you guys do when you guys can't sleep? Just roll around in le bed hoping that by some miracle or another you'll start falling asleep? 

Me here, I won't fall asleep for maybe one hour or more after I get into bed, usually. So what better than plugging in le earphones, listen to nice soothing musics or songs, with a good book in hand?

Bedtime stories. 8)

The thing is, you can't quite READ yourself to sleep, or can you? Well, I can't anyway. After reading to le extent where I start to yawn and rub my eyes, I'd put the book down, switch off the lights, and try to sleep once more.

That takes maybe yet another 45 minutes or more. 

So, for those who needs time to fall asleep as well, what do you guys do to finally get into le dreamland? SHARE LE TIPS, GUYS. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Dear Blog...

Daily Prompt: Explain why you chose your blog's title and what it means to you.

Google Search Results! xDD There's a LOT OF PICTURES.
So, a blog post about my own blog. Okay, no problem.

When I opened this blog back on the 5th of August 2013, I already had ANOTHER blog running on a long hiatus - 5 years. I deleted that one, since it was sort of a project for my Computer Club when I was 14 in school. It was no longer useful to me.

I decided to make a new blog so that I would have something to do to fill up my time with. Blogging is better than playing games 24/7 on le laptop after all, is it not?

The reason behind this name "Tatoru Yuki's Rantings" blog name is simple, really. 
Earning views, followers, comments and +1's through my daily rants!

I opened this blog to rant. Rant, rant, rant. Talk about what's happening around me, or to me. Things I don't post on Facebook because I need more space and pictures to illustrate the story I want to tell others.

Maybe as a place where I get to earn some attention or something.

Tatoru Yuki, because I have been known as Turtle, Yuki or Nicki among my friends. I like le Japanese culture, their songs, anime series, their technology and weird-ass innovations. 

Turtle Yuki, when translated to Japanese, would be Tatoru Yuki. So why not show my love for le Japanese stuff though my blog name? 

Tatoru Yuki's Random Thoughts? Tatoru Yuki, Her Odd Highness? Tatoru Yuki's Many Complains?

But then this blog would work as my online diary, and that means there might be events both happy and sad in this blog.

So I settled for Tatoru Yuki's Rantings.


Opening this blog, I didn't quite expect the blog views that I get daily when I post. When this first started, I got only about 5 views or so a day. With Bloglovin and my followers, I now have an average of 15 to 20+ views a day. 

To those that took their time to read through my rants and many thoughts, I thank you very much. =) I guess this teenager going on 19 this year will never quite run out of things to talk about. =P 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Cindy and Shah's Surprise Birthday Celebrations!!

Met and got to know a few strangers! 10th February 2014 8)

So last night I managed to finish the project I was making and have it all uploaded and stuff. Then around 6pm or so, Leo asked me if I wanted to go for le surprise birthday party for Shah and Cindy. 

Heck. Mai friends. Surprise birthday parties are awesome. And Leo offered to bring me there if transport is my problem. So I asked my mum and uh. She objected. Because of some religious stuff and her past experiences and it's night time anyway.

He personally came over to mai place afterwards anyway and sorta persuaded my mum into allowing me to go out. Well, Cindy was going to Kuala Lumpur from today onwards anyway, since her studies are going to start next Monday, and it's very likely that she won't be coming back till the end of the year.

Shah, Jia Ying, and several others are going as well, I do believe. It's just that they would be coming back afterwards without Cindy. Well I ain't giving up le chance to meet this best girl bud of mine before she goes to KL this easily!

Leo waited for mai dad to settle with his stuff first, and told me meanwhile that since he was late anyway, other than getting le pizzas he was bringing me there as a surprise to le friends there. 

It ended up with Dad fetching me there, following Leo, around 8pm. Stopped at Setia Tropika to get 4 boxes of pizza.

Arrived around 9pm, at Noel's place. I didn't actually know Noel AHAHAHAH but well. Humans get to know each other, so it's okay.

Jia Ying and Cindy tho. THEY WELCOMED ME SO WARMLY I FELT LIKE A V.I.P. HOOMAN. HUGS AND ALL. I love you guys k. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Shah: 12th February. Cindy: 28th February.
Early celebrations~! Happy Birthday, people!
Secret Recipe's cake that was later wasted on human skin.
Commence le pizza-eating and photo-snapping. Well, awesome humans are awesome. I kinda got to know these two other girls who are fun. (Siew Fen and Shu Yuan right??) 

Apparently both Cindy and Shah thought that they were celebrating le other person's birthday. So when le cake was out and we started singing the birthday song which was for both Shah and Cindy, they looked sorta lost.

Suddenly, cake. Water balloons.

I wondered why I didn't think that there would be cake-throwing or water balloons at this birthday party meant for two. Because there IS, and I managed to escape being caked with a phone in my hand just capturing pictures and videos (mostly shaky cause the hoomans in it weren't really ready) for a while before I got a bit on my face and at my back. Thankiu for le chocolate cake cream massage, Leo. =w=" 

Mine was NOTHING compared to what le birthday duo got on their face and hands and even shirts etc. Shah even got Carlsberg poured on him. 

In short, they looked really messy and smelled of cream. AND WATER BALLOONS MADE IT ALL BETTER BECAUSE THEY WERE THEN WET AND DIRTTEEEHHHH. 8DDDD Which is what that defines a really awesome birthday party.

Me and mai bitches. 8) Nah. Just an all-girls photo. xD
 From left (ignore le two guys at le back): Esther, Ryana, Jia Ying, me, Cindy, Shu Yuan and Siew Fen.
Guys at back: Weng Kit and Shah. 
With all le mess of course we then had to take a shower. Just to wash off le oil, y'know. Suffice to say that while all le girls were in le same bathroom and washed themselves with their shirts off (some even pants off? Was there???) I had my share of boobs view for le day. 8) <3 Pretty. 

After all that fun le guys were washing le floor to get rid of ell le icky cakes and we girls just camwhore more (Ahahah sorry guys XD). I went back home shortly after that, around 11pm. 

'Twas a fun day. Thank you, humans, for having me over. I love you guys. 8) Have a fun birthday celebration (for le real dates!) afterwards and take care meanwhile!!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Le Fun type of Busy

Okay, so it's just the 10th of February and I have skipped blogging for two days.

In my defense I really think that posting without content is pretty much useless, and with no ideas about what to blog about, I decided to just skip blogging yesterday.

Not a good sign.

I can now make simple drawings pretty fast,
in about 8 minutes or so,
compared to le 20 minutes or longer
back then.
But then, the thing is, I have been a little busy with one of my little projects, and I want this project to turn out real well. Without realizing it, I have been sitting in front of the laptop just doing this project and Facebook-ing from time to time. 

I didn't even Google for flash games this time. No reading comics either.

Heck, I even got so immersed in my project that I didn't quite feel the absence of Cavan's texts. Only when my mum started scolding me for staying up late yet again did I notice the time and a dull headache from the long hours in front of the laptop and also how Cavan's been offline for 6 or 7 hours. 

I only gave him a short text then. Goodnight, sleep well. Such and such. 

Oh God, when was the last time I felt so happy doing a project? 

I am hoping for the best here, that everything will turn out right and that the project would be a success. I would post a link to that finished project when I'm done with it a few days later! =D 

Meanwhile, vous revoir, fellow readers! 

Saturday, February 08, 2014

Remember your Diary?

I used to write diary entries since I was about 10 or so. This habit stayed on until my last relationship when I was 16. The diary entries simply stopped there and then. D:

Most of my diaries were simple books like this,
minus the sparkles.
I'd paste something I drew in it, and talk about what happened.

"Today, mum scolded me for my bad handwriting and had me rewrite everything. I didn't get to watch Doraemon because of that."

"I copied this ballerina from another book. Isn't she beautiful? *drawing cut nicely and pasted on that page*"

"I love the prince from beauty and the beast. He is so handsome."

Stuff like that.

One of the few highlights from my now-recycled diaries was when my sister accidentally swallowed a fish bone and it got stuck in her throat. She was only like, what, 9 years old or so back then? So of course, she freaked out and cried all the way to the hospital and asked me if she was going to die. The fish bone was extracted, it was about 1.5 cm in length, I believe, and I pasted that into my diary as well.

I remember how I used to curse my family members and friends when I was angry at them in the diary, saying stuff like, "I wish you would die." and "If I die earlier I won't leave one single cent to you." *laughs*

There were hardly anything personal in those diaries until I was about 15 years old though.

At 15 I wrote a lot about friendships and what happened in school and if I have cut myself that day. I talked a lot about my girl crush from back then, had her name scrawled in the first page once a day until the page was totally full. After getting a boyfriend, I wrote a lot about that too. 

Moving my diary entries onto Blogger like
WHOOP WHOOP
I may have stopped writing my diaries now, but I have started writing blog posts to replace that.

Blogging became a way for me to keep track of important events and to look back at the past. Maybe nothing too personal, as blogs online can be viewed by the public, but it works well as an online diary nevertheless.

How many people still writes diary entries out there? Well, there Is this website, diary.com that lets you post your diary entries and so on, with a layout that's kinda like Pinterest. For short diary entries, I kinda have Facebook for that already though, and for long ones, This Blogger thing I'm using :) Life is good. For those who have your own diaries of blogs, keep writing!

Friday, February 07, 2014

Phone Appreciation!

Samsung Champ GT-C3303K, obtained in year 2010
I had three phones up to date. The first one being a hand-me-down black-and-white Nokia phone. Nokia 1112, if I wasn't mistaken. That phone lasted for only like 1 year or so because its battery was faulty and the phone itself had many problems to start with.

I had that phone when I was 12. A trophy for obtaining Straight A's in my UPSR examinations. That phone was mostly used for LOTS of texting and playing this Snake Xenzia game and some other space battle thing which I forgot the name for.

Childhood. 8)

My second phone was something obtained from China. Bought from those China salesmen/ salesgirls you see at le street and stuff. I don't quite remember much about that phone anymore, besides the fact that it was dreadfully laggy when I text and its pen calibration had serious problems. 

Then when I was 15 and finished my PMR exams and this Samsung Champ phone just went into le market for about RM380, I bought it. The price of this phone has dropped to about Rm180 by now though. My loss.

The phone is still in fine condition in its 4th year now. 8)

I must say that this phone is a very good companion of mine for contacting hoomans on mai favourite social site, Facebook. Been relying on this phone and Java-powered Opera Mini to log on to Facebook for free on DiGi since like when I was 15. Sadly now even this 0.facebook.com thing is requiring a web pass and I'm pretty sure that it is sucking up mai money on moi postpaid account.

Which is why I'm planning to get a Sony Experia M soon. I can get it for about RM695 or so, according to le current prices.

I kinda need a Wi-Fi enabled phone to make mai life more convenient. And this phone has it. It ish said that Sony phones are more for entertainment purposes (which is what I might be using it for, mostly - music and Facebook) and it suits mai needs.

I would have gotten myself an iPhone if it isn't so expensive. D: Cavan's been offering to get me a good second-hand iPhone but I really am not sure about second-hand products. Still in consideration. Besides, my phone is not broken yet. 8) Maybe I'll go get this phone like some time next week or so. Maybe I might actually just go get an iPhone for real. I have not made up my mind yet.