Monday, April 28, 2014

Are You In or Out?

There are times when you are so sober and solemn that you go all deep and sentimental with your friends when you start talking.

And this thing you call Friends, is what I'm talking about today.

How long do your friendships last? A year or two? As long as up to ten years? A few minutes at the queue while buying something?

Is it possible for us to have that one or two friends to grow old with us and stay with us once we are friends?

I don't know, people. To me, friendships come and go. You stay at one place, you get those friends you are lucky enough to get. Then you move on to another place, and if you're lucky enough those friends come with you and you don't have to start anew. If not, you just leave those friendships behind and salvage whatever you can and hang on to until those friendships too, fade away.

Occasionally, my friends from different schools/ colleges would meet up, like this picture here for example. One's a best friend from the second secondary school I went to after shifting from Melaka to Johor and another one here is a sister that I obtained in college.

Some friends stay. The rest goes away. 

You got to make an effort to let the best of friends stay with you. Make more memories to keep and smile at when you think of them.

Some people would say, "Well, just let things go naturally. If it happens, it happens."

Well then. Natural, you say. So when things drift apart, you just let it be that way? Do you do the same with your significant other? Certainly not, am I right? Yet sad to say most friendships do not last, even when efforts are made. Some things really are just meant to be. 

I guess like everything else in the world, life moves on. Friendships, relationships, jobs, studies, everything. We just have to move on, even if we miss the past and all the good memories we have from it.

Moving on aside, I really am keen to look for someone or something that would stay with me through the years to come. I like commitment. It's something that I look for in most aspects. Commitment and something stable or consistent. 

It gets a little lonely sometimes knowing that people around you won't stay forever. They find new friends and would be too busy to reconnect with you, and make half-ass attempts to meet up and get the friendship back. 

There are friends that makes efforts to let the friendship stay in my life, and I am grateful for that. I'm dedicating this paragraph to you, my bunny a.k.a. scandal whom I've known since primary school and just called me to tell me that she needs some motivation to go through the last day of her exams tomorrow. I miss you, bunny. x) You're in Kedah, wayyyy too far for me to go visit. But if you return to Melaka then maybe we can meet 8) <3

"It's surprising how easy it is for someone to just drift out of your life forever. But sometimes, when you do find someone you want to stay in your life, you do something about it." - A quote from 'How I Met Your Mother"

To the readers who might already are my friends, will you stay?

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Hogwarts Is Here!!

Well if you are a big fans of Harry Potter and have always been waiting for that acceptance letter from Hogwarts, you can do it through the internet now.

What with the advancing technologies and all, you can now sign at this fan-made website for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry through this website here and enroll in 7 courses provided at the low, low price of free.

But first of all, after signing up and receiving your acceptance mail in your inbox (probably in your spam folder) you can take this quiz here to see which Hogwarts house you belong in. I got Gryffindor, but I signed up for Slytherin anyway because WHY NOT. 


After choosing your house, you can start off by enrolling in a course or two, and if you are really free, just enroll in all 7 courses at one go.

It's best if you manage your time among these courses well though, especially if you are having real-life studies at the moment. 


Now, most friends of mine that saw the posts I made about this website on Facebook asked me questions like, "Is it tough? I am not really into this Harry Potter fandom but this looks fun."

Yes, this is pretty fun if you are the type of person that has time to deal with extra assignments and exams. I myself, in terms of Harry Potter fandoms, am a muggle. I did not read the novels and watched maybe only one or two movies from this series. 

After enrolling in the courses, you can start with the lessons and by the end of each lesson, you have assignments and quizzes. These are not compulsory unlike the finals which would be due in perhaps week 4 or 5 after the commencement of your studies. 

However, the marks you obtain for these assignments do contribute to your house points and may be able to push your grades a little for your finals.


The essays take some time to be graded, and has no deadlines, although some may require you to finish an essay within 30 minutes. Relax. The essays are not long ones. Some about 300 words, some within 100 words, things like that.

You may need a textbook to refer to for some of your assignments, but these are free too! At the beginning of the game you are given some 'money' so that you can start off with your lessons by buying the books you need. 


Well I haven't make any sense of this currency yet. But I think I still have enough to last me for a while. Apparently, if you do well in your exams and assignments you might get more deposits from the Gringotts Bank. 

There's a supply list in case you don't know what are the things you NEED to start off with. It's best you don't end up buying unnecessary things or you might be unable to start your courses in the future.

I'm taking two courses for now - Transfiguration and History of Magic. The assignments are easy once you read through the lessons and textbooks. This website is a little text-heavy but well, online classes. That's how things like this work. xD

Oh, right. Aside from all these studying things, you can also join a dorm with your friends and have discussions at the dorm chatbox. Similarly, group discussions can be held at the house's common room or among your classmates. 

If you are up for competition, you can try to complete as many assignments as possible and go up the ranks in the house leaderboard and also The Great Hall, where players from all houses compete against each other.


If you are interested, you can even volunteer as a professor, a graphic designer or a textbook writer, et cetera et cetera. It depends on whether or not the website needs such talent from time to time. They are short of professors though. With so many students enrolled in this school and that many assignments submitted by enthusiasts, why not volunteer as a professor if you are well-versed in the world of magics in this school?

And of course, if you do like this website enough, you can donate to this website so that they can upgrade their servers to run more smoothly for us students. 

I'm still trying to understand the nature of Avifors here and all, but hey, if you do end up enrolling in this school, add me there. We might be able to do some 'discussions' on assignments. 5 more courses to enroll in, CAN I REALLY DO THIS? CAN A MUGGLE DO THIS WELL??? Well, we will see, won't we? Let's hope that this website will be here long enough for me to graduate after a few YEARS. Still a first-year student after all. x)

To those planning on joining, good luck and have fun!


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

This thing you call a relationship

So I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships and whatnot. Like, I'm gonna be 19 this year, and if I ever want to get married I'll probably do so by the time I'm 25. About 6 more years till the possibility of that happens.

Well if that's the case I sure hope I already have that guy in my life!! 6 years is a long time though, I guess I can spare a few more years finding that guy to torture for the rest of my life. But we'll see. Cause I'm not exactly keen on the idea of getting married and having kids although I want relationships to last forever.

Anyway, there's the things my parents and friends have told me.

From mum:

"Go study well, get a nice job, find a guy that loves you more than you love him and have a decent background. If you get him, just get married about 1 or 2 years after getting into a relationship."
(Me: ISN'T IT TOO SOON THOUGH I'd like to know le dude more before marrying him!! @@)

"Don't put too much emotions into your relationship, okay? In the end you're the only one getting hurt after all."

"It's not nice for your husband if he knows that you've been through 24351353526 relationships. Don't jump into one. Don't accept just because the guy chased you. And most of all, don't chase the guy."

"Holding hands, hugs, kisses... those are special, don't simply give them away to a boyfriend."

"Why jump into a relationship so fast? You're still so young. scared won't get a boyfriend in the future? There are better guys waiting out there, don't rush it."

From dad:


"Still with that guy ah?"
(Me: Got bf same like no bf lah. Doesn't matter that much.)
" *claps* Good good good. Good to think like that. I approve. You need all these experience to be more mature mah."

(Me: ...)

"Haven't break up ah?"

"Ceyh. Just 4 months ma. Nowadays you all ah, easy easy call boyfriend girlfriend. No point."

"If you got heartbroken all that, tell me. It's alright. It's all a part of growing up."

From little sister:

"Notchet break ah?"

"Eh you guys how long d ah? Got 1 year ah? (Me: No. Not even half a year yet LOL) Your ex one how long?? (Me: 1 year 5 months?) Eh not bad hor? (*nods*)"

"Aiyaaa break la break la why notchet break"
(Cursing me izzit??? Who won't want their relationship to last wor ><)

"Why would people want a potato like you."

"See, other couples so sweet you got like that one mah? No, right? Lousy. Not sweet also."

Friends:

"It's your decision, in the end. But know that I have your back when your decision is made, whatever decision that might be."

"Stay strong."

"Be confident."

"Are you really alright? Don't lie to me, I know you're hiding something."

"Don't give up on hope just because of what you faced so far, you'll find someone that will change your mind one day."

"Homaigawd why are you so stubborn. You're so naive!!" 

"Don't be cheated by sweet words, okay? Keep this in mind."

"Well, you jumped into a relationship knowing what will happen, so it's still partly your fault. But I still got your back here so just jump whenever you want to."

"At the beginning all is sweet, it's how the guy treats you after the 'honeymoon phase' that counts."

=) Despite all the different sorts of comments, both good and bad, I want to let you guys know that I appreciate all of it. At times when I need reassurances, someone to turn to, a shoulder to cry on, it's you people that I seek. My family and my friends, I thank you. 

Through my relationships, I have always had friends who were there for me when I feel upset. Sometimes, I find myself laughing as I realized that my friends cared more for me than my guy (Both past and current). You people will not hold back telling me what I did wrong and if I was the one who wronged the other, and I appreciate that too.

I wouldn't learn otherwise. 

Yet some of you said that I haven't learn from my past experience. I can't argue about that. I learnt, but I still believe in keeping faith and hopes up instead of giving up so quickly. 

Maybe one day I will just give up and turn to swing both ways or something, but today, my friends, is not the day. 8) 

Fighting~!! 

XOXO

Friday, April 11, 2014

dy/dx = 0, A Turning Point

Just 2 days ago, I learnt that my application for a degree course in Nanyang Technological University has been rejected. I don't know why yet - it might be because my Foundation is not sufficient as an entry requirement (should have taken A-levels or Australian Matriculation although I wouldn't have met all the awesome people I did in 2013), or maybe because the drawings I sent in as my portfolio did not reflect my creativity and skills, maybe both reasons or just that the limit for number of international students have been reached.

Either way, I took this as a turning point for my life. 

It was the deciding factor of whether or not I continue trying to pursue a course and future in designing. It was either entering NTU to get into a designing life or nothing. 

The other universities were a bit too costly in comparison, and the impression not as good. Beggars can't be choosers, but one can always have some expectations. 

If anything, this event motivated me to get even better at my drawing and later, designing skills. But for now, I will apply for a neuropsychology course or as it is called in the university, Biology with Psychology. 

This subject has been my second choice for some time, after designing. Well, not NEUROpsychology. Just psychology, until I got to know about all those puzzles surrounding the brain. THEN, I wanted something combining brain and psychology and here I have it, neuropsychology.

It's really better to have a second choice and backup plans in life, I realized. Life doesn't always go the way we planned, and at times like this, having a backup is good. 

You see, my life has been so sheltered and protected that I seldom and almost NEVER faced rejections before. This is one of the first few major rejections that I faced in my life so far.

Thus I call it the turning point.

Being average-ish in studies isn't enough. At times, we have to make the right choices in order to advance or move forward in our lives. Maybe it wasn't a wrong choice to take a foundation where I'm headed. As a friend said to me, I'm just taking a different path, maybe a slightly longer way to reach my dreams.

Little will change after this. However, I will now have time to improve and learn more on my own about digital drawing and actually do some reading about how humans work and put it to use afterwards.

Where is your turning point in life? =)

Sunday, April 06, 2014

我就是这样的女生

在参加昨晚的酒席的时候,我看见我老妹把她的华语作业拿出来放在桌上。隔天要交上去的功课她才开始要做。

而她的作文题目呢,也就是我这篇文章的题目:《我就是这样的女生》

当时,她告诉了我她不知道这样的一篇作文改怎么写。我却满脑子都是可以用的点子。不过有这些点子也没用呀,毕竟我没法写出来。连自己的华语名字‘沈婉蓉’都写的乱七八糟,怎么可能让我写出一篇作文?!(⊙o⊙) 根本就不可能!!

就这样,我就来kit要写这篇部落格文章了 =P 如果有打错字请体谅, forgive moi!

***

不认识我的人都会说我看起来很凶,一点都不友善,甚至还很骄傲不跟别人交道。认识不久的朋友们很多都会告诉我:“一开始我真的还会有点怕你呃,你一直都看起来很moody!”

看起来moody的这点我就承认了。连我老妈都整天对我唠叨,说什么我比较像我爸那边的人,眼睛是‘喵’上去的,嘴巴嘟嘟的。没表情的时候就很自然的摆着臭脸了。

... 没事情一直笑着其实也不正常咯~不可能要我没理由的一整天傻笑吧??

认识我已一段日子的人会说:“其实你还不错guailan/ 三八/ 得咯,真的看不出嘞。”

这样被说的人我认为有很多。真正认识我的人又有几个呢?

我不善于表达自己,很多情绪都是死命的埋在心里。我不会轻易的相信或者靠近别人,而且要相信一个人我会需要很长的时间。如果真的相信了,我就不会轻易的放弃你这个朋友。

我是个不想信‘永久’的女生。友情爱情什么的,不知何时开始就不信了。我很怀旧,但我已接受不会有永久的这个事实。也就是因为这样的概念,我所拥有的我都会尽量保留着。当觉得有个我珍惜的人要溜走的时候,我会试着把ta留着。这样做了ta还是不留的话,我或许会放弃吧。是这样说没错啦,不过目前我还没放弃那些快要溜走的友情。

我是个很冷漠的人。心是热的,不过只表达冷的。我不会告诉你我很珍惜你,我不会让你知道你在我人生中是多么的重要,我不会告诉你我希望我们能永远在一起。但我会让你知道我觉得你很烦,我不喜欢你,我要你滚到远远去,死的惨惨的。我不会牵着你的手说爱你,只会假装不理你对你没兴趣说讨厌你和打你。这样的女生你能接受吗?

我不会打扮,不像其他女生一样会穿的漂亮笑的美丽,不穿裙子和短裤。甚至还不会用手机自拍。这样的我会受几个人的批评呢?

批评吧,你喜欢不喜欢都不管我的事。我深信总有一天会有一位不要求我改变的人。几时遇到这个人呢,就难说啦。

我不喜欢被管。喜欢自由,能够做自己的选择的权利。你让我做我自己想做的东西我能做得很好,但当你对我有所要求我或许就开始落后了,表现也变得不好。做工这一方面,你让我做的事我会做,但你别老是提醒我,让我做我知道我做不到的事情。我会摆臭脸给你看的。=P

口口声声说不会吃醋的我始终还是会吃醋。突然间想起了我前任对我说过的话。他说:“不是你不会吃醋,是我没让你有吃醋的机会。”好吧,这一点我也承认了。

我不喜欢吵闹的地方,却有时还是会需要到这种地方来解压。虽然说自己一个人在shopping center 走也是蛮开心的,偶尔和认识的朋友们见面喝喝茶逛逛街还是不错的!

把这篇文章读到这,你们可能发现到我是个很矛盾的人。一下说这样一下有说那样。

话说呀,这样的女生你们能接受吗?
但这样的我才是我。 x)

我喜欢用字表达的东西。对一个喜欢看书的人来讲应该不奇怪。和喜欢的人,就喜欢有他在身边。什么都不做,只要在身边我就很满足了,因为还是有点不习惯那些亲密的举动。不会讨厌那种举动,但也不会主动去做。啊,对了。我好像是被动型的耶。

老实说吧,这篇文章我打了很久,打的累了。也不知道自己还有些什么可以说的。就草草了事的END掉这篇文章吧。掰掰~