Thursday, February 26, 2015

Week 26 - Thoughts

0700 - It's time to get up already? Did I turn on the alarm for 7.15 a.m.? Yeah I did. Sleep.

0715 - K. Breathe in, breathe out. Sit up. I'll be more awake after shower. Towel, underwear, clothes, shower items... yep. K let's wake up now.

0730 - Are the clothes really dry? Guess I can take them in now. What should I have for breakfast? No, coffee drank first thing in the morning is not healthy. Something about the stomach acids. Biscuits are too dry though, oh god why didn't I go buy milk I'll go buy it later. Does this shirt go with this skirt? I need a full length mirror to look at this properly. Warm water. I need warm water. Maybe a bit of biscuits is alright.

0800 - Is it too early to go to class? I still have time. Do people see my eyeliner and judge me? Is this lipstick colour too obvious? I shouldn't use these things. Au naturale. ... No my lip colour is all wrong and my eyes are so droopy I need something. Should I wear jeans instead? This skirt is going to show my fat thighs and calves. Did I refill my water bottle?

0820 - Should I say hi? Yeah sure why not. Do I just do my own thing or talk to them? Heck they probably think I'm annoying and talkative. Just continue reading now, don't say anything unless they start first. Keep quiet, shush. Did I hear dogs? Should I comment on that? It won't hurt to just say something like that, right? Ah, class is starting. Might as well. Something to keep the mind and hands occupied!

0900 - Where is my coffee? Maybe yoghurt. Milk or yoghurt? Honey, honey lemon, sandwich... Coffee?

1130 - K lunch. Diet or no diet. Do I have enough money? Yeah I do, I just withdrew money yesterday so it should be alright. Fruits. Am I hungry? Yeah I am. Well shit. uhm maybe spaghetti. Or just noodles as usual. Are they going? What's taking them so long? Maybe we can go eat someplace else this time, have a change of menu. But they won't like it. Hey I can go alone. Should I? Will they judge? Wait, maybe they've been waiting for a day when I finally won't join them. Should I? Should I? I'll ask him if he wants to join.

1330 - I wish I could stay. But busy, so busy. Am I really happy with being busy like this? It does give some sense of accomplishment. I wanna get some sleep. Hey I think I've seen you around before do I know you? Should I say hi or pretend I didn't see you? Let's just scroll through my phone. Yeah you didn't see me either right? Awesome. Yo what's that song. I need that in my phone. Who sang that again? Earth to Yuki. Focus on the meeting.

1500 - Empty table. Awesooommmeee. Does the plug work? I shall stay here and finish my revision and do a bit of extra studying and go have dinner around 5pm then go back to the hostel and get some sleep till the next day or something I'm so tired k let's get this shit done. Wait what's new on 9gag? Shit, did people see that? If my friends see me looking at this I'll be so doomed. Yo when did you even start caring about people's judging you in the first place Yuki shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up don't think don't think get some music drink some water calm down

2000 - Shit phone battery's low. It's time to leave. Did I miss out on anything? No notifications, I guess I'm done for today. I'll just do more revision tomorrow. Try sleep early tonight. 10.30pm maybe. Get some sleep. Dinner? I'll get oatmeal or something. Burgers though... Should I even- It's burgers.

2130 - Go workout. Do some light exercises. Maybe stretching and sit-ups. Don't be lazy now. Tired. So tired. I need to sleep.

2200 - Hahah this picture is funny, I should show it to someone. I knew you'd agree, that's why I sent it to you. ... I can't just keep texting you whenever I please, can I? Most people say things like 'Nah I'm okay with it' but inside they're just plain annoyed. I'm like that. I'm kinda bad if I'm like this. Hmmm. I should try change my personality again. For good, this time. What should I wear tomorrow?

2300 - K, just 5 pages then go straight to sleep. Do nothing else. Go. To. Sleep.

0000 - Did I set my alarm for tomorrow? I'll be so tired in the morning, all these choices I make in life... It's kinda cold.

Week 26 - Book Summary and Review: Fractured by Dani Atkins

First things first, spoilers ahead.

I got to admit, it was the title of this novel that compelled me to take a look at the synopsis at the back of the book.

In a sentence, I can tell you that this story is about a second chance in life - a better one.

I took an immediate liking to this book once I started reading it. The main character, a girl name Rachel, had quite a normal life with a loving boyfriend Matt, a guy best friend Jimmy and her girl best friend Sarah.

Until the day of the accident, that is.

*** Spoilers this point onwards! ***

When Rachel and her friends were at a restaurant, a car had lost control and crashed into the place just where they were eating - at the window. Rachel would have died if it wasn't for Jimmy who pulled her back from the table where she stood frozen with a chair blocking her path to safety and died in her place.

Ever since then her life seems to have crumbled and got worse. Years on, her father was trying to recover from chemo and she was having frequent headaches that were signs to a disease more fatal, possibly a brain tumor. She pushed Matt away, and when she finally got the courage to go back to her hometown for Sarah's wedding, she saw Matt and Cathy - another friend in her gang - together.

e-book cover
Although Jimmy never got the opportunity to say it, it was hinted that he wanted to tell her that he likes her before they leave for university on the day of the accident. Rachel hadn't known that just then, but only that she felt guilty that he died for her. That thought haunted her for a long time, until one day she went to Jimmy's grave.

That's when she was given her 'second chance'. Rachel had a splitting headache and collapsed as she tried to get help from drivers on the road.

She woke up, confused, to various pleasant surprises. Her father was healthy and well, Jimmy still alive with just a scar to prove that he survived, and she's engaged to Matt.

Thing is, it takes a great deal of adjusting from her previous life to her new life. One does not simply just accept that her best friend has been resurrected from death or that her dad got well from chemo within a day or two. Or that the 'ex' is now engaged to her and totally in love too.

So yes, Rachel was very confused and tried to convince everyone that this wasn't her life. She baffled her friends when she was able to provide concise information about her former workplace, neurologist and her apartment.

None of the people from her 'previous life' seems to know her at all - her colleagues, her neighbours, et cetera, because in her 'new life', it's all completely different.

Despite appearing to love her a lot, Racher couldn't seem to reciprocate the feelings for him. Instead, she got closer and closer to Jimmy, which might be because of having lost him before.

For some reason, this novel was given a different
title in America
Rachel still gets 'images' from her previous life, the scent of her father's aftershave, the sounds of an ambulance, but they always seem to go away just as quickly.

At one point, she was convinced that she was suffering from multiple-personality disorder after having a talk with Jimmy and visiting her workplace where she found an article that she allegedly wrote.

Her relationship with Jimmy only got closer when she suspected that Matt was cheating on her with Cathy and discovered it to be true when she went into his apartment and caught them in the act.

Jimmy finally had the chance to confess his feelings for her a while after that incident. She knew then, what he'd wanted to tell her that night of the incident in her previous life.

They got married, and as they walked out of the church into the bright lights outdoors, her father held her hands and asked the doctor if there really wasn't hope for her anymore and if she might be able to smell his aftershave that she gifted him. The doctors gave a negative answer, and pulled the plug.


Ratings: 4/5

This is one of the few novels that had me flipping the pages and hooked till the end although the ending could be guessed. I wondered while I was reading, if there was any chance at all that she would suddenly go back to her previous life, or if Rachel's theory about parallel universes and 'soul-exchange' was actually correct.

There were two 'teams' in this story, Team Jimmy and Team Matt. I've always been in Team Jimmy from the very start when he showed her affections in subtle ways. Somehow Jimmy managed to seem somewhat more affectionate that Matt ever can be as a companion, and the point that he cheated did not help.

At the ending of the story, I wondered if all that she was in her new life is the afterlife that she was experiencing, or if it was simply something conjured in her mind while she was in her comatose condition. What if it was an alternative life that Jimmy conjured up to welcome her into her afterlife?
There were many questions as to this aspect, and I suppose this would be up to the readers to decide.

I hoped for a happy ending, and I suppose in a sense this counts as one when she's happy with Jimmy and her family and friends are all pretty well off.

A part that I probably didn't enjoy as much in this novel was the confusing parts that were Rachel's point of view. It seemed reassuring at one moment and suddenly something happens and you start doubting her hypothesis for the things happening around her. Sure, it keeps you guessing, but it probably isn't all that nice when it lasts throughout the whole book.

It's books like this that makes me wonder if our lives are truly as we perceive them. I truly enjoyed reading this one nonetheless, and I'll probably keep a lookout for Dani Atkin's other books now :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Week 24

I'm not exactly sure what to say.

It's been some time since I last written a blog post. Like 3 week ago, wasn't it?

Well, the semester is ending soon, but not before the finals which will be after the Chinese New Year break somewhen next week. Most of the projects are done with by now, other than the position paper which will be due after the break.

These past weeks, well. When I am here trying to recall what happened I can bring up nothing, but I do remember that I went to the Big Bad Wolf sales (again) and bought 8 books for Rm35. I also bought a BBW T-shirt (GLOW IN THE DARK~!!) for RM29 and a bookmarks stack for RM10. So yeah that's almost Rm75 I spent in one day, followed by a meal in ... Some sushi place .I forgot that place's name but their egg thing is delicious.

I went back to work, and will probably work longer hours from this week onwards. I also applied to be a lecturer's research assistant to help collect the data needed for his researches and possibly to do some researching as well if time permits. It seems somewhat for 'fun' to be busy. Thing is, my mind's been wandering lately. Not to good places either, so it's probably for the best that I keep myself occupied for as long as I can.

I know it's like, February, but I made myself a New Year Resolution list.

Sort of. More like goals for a few years really.

  1. Get sennheiser noise-cancelling headphones
  2.  Save Rm15,000 in bank account
  3. Read 40 books in 2015
  4. Master daily yoga routine
  5. Finish writing a story or two
  6. Adopt healthy diet that I can stick to
 Yeah that's pretty much it.

Also, I just found out that my phone hasn't been automatically syncing my photos with Google plus photos recently and that got me a little worried cause it's where I've been backing up my photos for the last year or so. I hope I can fix this.

I should get around to drawing more I guess. Either that or I spend more time studying for the next semester instead of wasting it 9gagging or watching movies, plating MaiMai in the arcade or whatever. Yeah, it's gonna take a little bit of readjusting to get back to being hardworking again after approximately 8 weeks of slacking off in class.

I mean, this semester is so trivial that we go to the classes just for the sake of attendance and while the lecturers are teaching you'd see some of us using the laptop, watching movies/ videos, reading, playing games, etc. Not many of us actually listens. The few that listens will probably get better results than the rest of us, but for now I simply don't quite care.

yeah. The few that listens.

Ever wondered if anyone really listens to you? Cause I do that pretty often. But that's for another rant I guess