Saturday, August 31, 2013

"TarotuYuki-chan I likey joo"

Reason number 4. No good submitting yourself into
a relationship when you know your heart is elsewhere.
Just about two weeks before, I had no idea how a girl would feel being confessed to, whether it's a serious one or not. Up to date, I now have two dudes that said they likey moi.

The first one is actually my classmate, and he sure sounds like he's kidding and I really hope he is, because I hardly even know him to start with, but he'd even asked me to be his girlfriend a few times now, so I'm a little worried. Let's call him VL. He's a little too loud for my liking, that's the second reason why I sort of turned him down. Third reason, which applies to both guys said earlier, is that I simply don't want to be in a relationship right now. It is nice to know that someone as anti-social and weird as I am actually have someone that fancies me somehow. Regardless of whether or not those feelings were true or if he was just bored and thus fooled around with me. No, no matter how many times you prompt me to tell you "I love you," I am NOT going to. Those three words I only tell the my girl friends and guys that I really love. Not any one that I have no feelings for. I'm sorry, but if you indeed were serious about asking me to be your girlfriend, I still am treating what you say as a joke only. You and I are not even close friends to start with, so I would not bother giving your a proper reply. Get the hint that I don't like you that way, however.

A quote to live by while I'm still young.
That second guy, who we shall call by the name XB here, is unsure about his feelings for me, but I believe that he has those feelings because he was lonely after his recent break-up with the girl he really loved. I have always treated him as an elder brother that I never had, and I knew him through the Starstruck! journalism program I talked about a few posts back. So, him telling me that he THINKS he likes me is something I did not quite expect. Although, when he asked me this question, "How wrong is it to love someone you know you aren't supposed to fall in love with?" His reaction to the question "Who is it and do I know her" made it all the more obvious. XB, if you are reading this, no, I am not mocking you. It's just that I wanted to confirm who I thought you were talking about and thus I kept asking you. However, it is not awkward even after I knew that I was the one you were referring to. At least, it's not awkward for me.

Now, actually having people tell me they like me, this is something new in my life. And sadly, it doesn't really feel as special as I expected it to be. Maybe this is because of all the anime series and romance-themed novels that set a different expectation on stuff. Sort of a disappointment really. This is what I get when I actually waited for guys to confess instead of the other way round. I can say that I might have done a better job confessing to the guy instead.
My current relationship with KT
But then again it might be just me.

'Cause the courage I have online is different from what I really have in real life. Online on Facebook, confessing to someone is just typing and clicking the send button. Pretty easy compared to when you actually have to face your crush and talk to him and tell him about your feelings.

If I do try to confess face-to-face, it actually might go like this text below. Well, this is what I imagine it to be anyway. 'Cause I have not tried confessing to a person directly. Yeah, I'm sort of a coward like this.

"You had your lunch yet?"
"Nope, maybe later"
"Wanna be my boyfriend and grab lunch together?"
"Yeah sur - Wait what?"
"Nah, it's just that I have been having a crush on you since forever and have been stalking your Facebook and Twitter account ever since you accepted my friend and follower request and I now know basically what you do everyday and guess what, I keep your photos in a special folder in my thumb drive so that I can see who your friends were from the year you started having your Facebook account until now. You look gorgeous in every photo, my dearest. Let's keep that grey Boston shirt you have for our first son when he has to leave for college maybe 30 years later, alright Honey?"
"... *runs*"
"YOU CREEP. *calls the police*"

Yeah, I'd probably fuck up. That extract above was an exaggeration. I don't think I'm THAT much of an over-attached girlfriend material. Some, but not THAT much.

Specifically HIS hug. 
As for KT, last night I tried to sound like I was joking as I asked him for a hug before I graduate, but he replied that it is possible. I cannot put in words the happiness I am feeling because seriously, that one hug is all I want from him. Nothing else, although another trip to a book fair with him would be nice. He makes a nice companion, and his voice is simply delicious. 

I don't even dream of him being my boyfriend anymore. I am just a fangirl for him now. Well uh, yes, I still do stalk him, but it's just more to out of habit now than anything else. I don't like him that way. It's just his voice and him being himself that rocks. He's just awesome and I kind of idolize him somehow, but don't ask me why. I have no answer for that.

Maybe, just maybe, if he confesses to me, I'd feel that 'heart-skip-100-beats' thing authors write about in young teen romance novels.

That's very unlikely, however; So Imma just go back to living my single life for the next two or three years and continue fangirling over KT till it somehow stops. And there's my chemistry lab report to take care of right now.

Ciao, my beloved ones.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Delayed Post

I was preparing for my maths test aside from playing games and chatting with my Singaporean hostel friends last night from about 6pm to 2 freaking am in the morning. 

Not like I had a topic to rant on yesterday though, so it was fine for me. Recently I couldn't really think of stuff to rant on, you see.

For your Entertainment.
The good part about not blogging yesterday though, is that I actually managed to get some work done as I did not even touch the laptop. much.

Sleeping at 2am has its effects on me though.
How the exam turned out though, was that I expected quite little from it as the topic seemed easy, only arithmetic and geometric sequence. I mean, how hard can this topic get? It was all like, find this term, find this sum, find this sum of infinity, find whatever terms and sums and more than or less than a certain number... That's it.

But then there was this question:
Girl A jogs 5km on the first day, 7km on the second day, 9km on the third day, etc etc.
Girl B jogs 5km on the first day, 15% more distance on each consecutive days.
Find the day when the total distance jogged by Girl B is more than the total distance jogged by Girl A.

Now. If anyone can provide me the answer to this question and its working steps before the teacher gives the solution to me, I will be really grateful because within that one hour I was able to solve all other questions except for this one last question at the last page.

It sorts of irked me, and not being able to solve a question during exams sucks real bad.

I have no idea what I was doing during le exam
It's done with now, however, and I am only happy to move on with the next few assignments and MAI NOVELS. MAI DARLIN BABY NOVELS. 

I'll go nao then. Not much to rant about these days when my mind is filled with lots of mathematical problems and such really. I apologize in advance, however.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

It's a SIGN!!

a sign. A SIGN.
I'm thinking that maybe this is finally a sign asking me to just stop gaming really. Suddenly I received this... this note attached above saying that I was banned from this Cafeland game because I apparently hacked this game, which I did not. However, I DID attempt to find the hacking program for Marketland, which I was not banned from.

I was thinking that maybe the developers made a mistake. Maybe they thought I hacked Cafeland although I did not hack any games this whole year. Not like I hack things often though. And it isn't even hacking to start with when you only search and download the keygen to use in order to get more coins or diamonds or whatever other cash-acquired materials.

So, I ended up not playing Cafeland anymore and going back to Marketland after not playing for maybe like 5 days. That's already quite an achievement for me, mind you. However I did get some work done last night, thankfully. I finished preparing my presentation slides on gay marriage. The time restraint given for us students to present is between 7 to 8 minutes. If we truly run out of time, we have another 30 seconds but that's it.

I've tried practicing the presentation itself maybe 4 or 5 times, and so far the time I used is between 7.41 minutes to 8 minutes. It's kind of risky, considering the fact that I have to browse through quite an amount of information quickly. 

Now I'm rushing for the other presentation, and this one is for biology.

And the good thing that happened recently is that I have some friends who I get to study with, so I am actually motivated to do some studying - which I haven't done for some time now.

To top it off, I actually have FRIENDS. *cheers a little*

Ah I fear that I might not be able to finish the novel KT lent me last week, I hope I would finish it soon. Well, I can always read more after I'm done with my report however. *looks forward to fun reading*

No suitable pictures I can insert here, so I'll pen off for now!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


Newspaper clipping from 22rd March 2013
See that newspaper clipping up there? That was the proof of my 'success' in my studies, after 2 years of hard work (sort of) and perseverance. I was only allowed to use the computer and play games every Saturday and Sundays (on rare occasions for Sundays and Friday nights) so I used the rest of my time for studying, revisions and when I am not doing those activities, I would be reading novels or drawing.

I didn't really like the TV then, not even now. I have no interest in just sitting in front of a screen immobile for one hour and a half or more for a movie. Neither do I like series, because I would have to routinely watch it everyday until the whole series end. I got to say, that might be one difference between my friends and I that contributes to that success I had.

However, contrary to my parents' and friends' beliefs, I am not that smart. Although I had 8A+ and 1A for my finals in Form 5 (SPM), I still had A-, B+, B and C+ in my trials. It's the trials that really shows our potentials in studies, because in the finals, the marks are adjusted according to the ogive graph for all the Malaysians and their marks in each subject. For all I know, my A+ in Biology could have been only 73 marks.

My friends had insisted that I was smart however, and whenever I argue back using this point they just rejected my reasons. I have long since stopped arguing with them about this topic though. The really smart ones are those who manages to keep up their studies, co-curricular activities and social lives all at the same time. And trust me, I happen to know a few people who did just that. They ace in friggin everything.

One thing I am proud of though, was that I had the chance to be a teenage journalist. Or, teen writer, to be more exact.
Not so clear either, but if this can help... here.

clearer image here
I was shortlisted after sending in an application essay and getting 30 newspaper subscribers from my school. With that number of subscribers I was able to share the articles by students for students. Not to mention that I gained some experience trying to ask for sponsors while doing this one assignment as well. It was a fun experience being able to write articles based on a certain scope or topic and then actually gain pocket money from it as well, if the article was published.

Either way, I managed to write articles and got about 3 or 4 of them published in that whole year. You see, we were divided into maybe about 6 groups, and each group takes turn to write articles every week. If it was not for that I might have been able to write more and got published more, but it's hard to say when there's so many other awesome writers in the team.

By the way, this pullout my team and I were working on is Stuff@school from The Star.

Back to the main topic though, I have been lacking self-discipline and determination in my studies recently. Although I may vow to do my revision as soon as I got back to the hostel, I might be pulled back when I switch on my laptop downstairs, claiming that I was going to finish doing my presentations and reports when in the end, I do blogging and Facebook-gaming.

Not like blogging takes up much of my time though.

I have been slacking in my studies and I know it, and I sure do hope that I will gain enough determination and concentration on my studies for me to improve myself wherever I go in the future. Hopefully I would not disappoint my parents when it comes to my studies, it's the least that I can do for them. I have maintained a Straight A record for all my major exams so far, and I sincerely wish and hope for the best that I may get to keep this record as long as I study.

To every students studying hard out there, keep up with the good work and remember that you reap what you sow, so put in all the efforts you have and you would certainly be awarded with what you want. 

Good luck to all of us.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Elegance in Goth

Hear the word 'Gothic' or 'Goth' and the first thing that would probably pop out in your mind is the word 'black' and 'darkness'.

True, for most parts in Gothic fashion, you would see lots of black, some white and red, and for some cases, even purple and blue. Most of the colours are dark when associated with the Goth culture.

I myself am not sure what the Goth culture actually is, but one thing I know, I love Gothic stuff. Being someone who loves the colour black and fancy clothes (secretly so), Gothic fashion seems to be my calling.

I love those little hats with checker box design and maybe lace and ribbons. I love layered clothes with long sleeves and black leather corsets. I love high platform boots with buckles and chains. And oh, those beautiful chokers that I dream of having one day. But perhaps most of all I simply love the dark colour and its unique way for us 'dark and deep' people to express ourselves in.

Whenever I Google Gothic fashion or 'Elegant Gothic', I'd find myself wishing that I know how to sew or create clothes out of nothing.

*sits at a table with scissors, markers, pins and needles and thread*
*thinks of a specific style of clothes that I want*
Yes my dream dress is done, and I shall wear this to my wedding fifteen years later.

If only it's that easy, because I do have lots of ideas for clothes that I would like to create and wear on the most normal days. Mind you, if people do not judge that much I would have worn the weirdest clothes combination to college daily without a single care.

But then again, I don't like being the center of attention. Wearing something Gothic to classes would most probably earn me questions like, "Wow, Turtle. Why are you wearing this? Any special occasions?" "Oh mi Gosh Turtle you're wearing a DRESS! FIRST TIME EVER!" "Turtle. That dress." "LOL Turtle that doesn't suit you not at all take it off and wear a plain white T-shirt, black jeans and black jacket like how you do on other days yo."

Maybe I'm thinking too much.

But I definitely would wear these Gothic stuff if there's an annual ball in the university or college I'm going to next. If I have these clothes in the first place, of course. I am currently saving some money to get my hands on a full Gothic attire that I can wear on special days.

I wonder if my future husband (if he exists) will let us hold a Gothic wedding. I wonder if our parents would allow that.

Maybe I should really take a sewing class or something when I have my holidays next. Perhaps after the course I would be able to at least make myself a Gothic choker or put fancy lace on my black and white clothes. Ribbons too. Black or red ones, in fact.

Now, about the gorgeous boots that the Gothics wear.

Boots. I have always been interested in them. But I have never owned one much less wore one. These shoes don't come cheap, you know. I saw the price of a pair of boots once and I quickly put the shoes back onto its rack, careful not to leave any scratches nor marks on it should I need to purchase it if I do leave marks on it. It's scary, really.

Most people might claim that Gothic culture is just something those emo kids like, because of how dark and sad and deep it is, or some other crap like that. However, I would say that with the right type of Goth, anyone can end up looking very elegant and gorgeous, mysterious even. I look forward to my Gothic wedding.

Yes, yes, I'm dreaming. But a girl can always dream.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Riding the Waves of Feels

Riding the Waves of Feels

I just watched this Japanese movie, "Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo' (At least I think that's the title, I might have read the kanji words wrongly) or in direct Japanese to English translation, The Girl who Leapt Through Time. As the title indicates, this girl, Makoto, was able to time-leap. When she first noticed this ability, she was actually supposed to be dead after being falling in front of a moving train. She then used her ability to go back to the morning just so that she could score higher marks in the pop quiz and avoid her bad luck the whole day. Then it was to change the fate of her two best friends, Chiaki and Kiosuke. Kiosuke, so that he would get a girlfriend and Chiaki, to avoid being confessed to.

The scene where Makoto was about to die

Makoto and Chiaki, when Makoto was avoiding him

Little did she know that every time she uses her time-leaping skills to avoid a bad luck, she was passing her luck to someone else.

The harder the leaps, the farther back into time she goes.

Either way, her time leaping activity soon got her into a situation where Kiosuke and his girlfriend dies in the same way she was supposed to, and finding out that Chiaki was from the future, where time-leaping was a possible activity with a very modern device. Chiaki had returned to the past and stopped the time when Kiosuke and his girlfriend were supposed to die, and confronted Makoto about her time-leaping.

Left to right: Chiaki, Makoto and Kiosuke

He then told her that he failed himself as the people from Makoto's generation was not supposed to know about time-leaping. He then just disappeared, having his chance to time-leap used up and unable to return to the future.

Makoto realized that she actually likes Chiaki after all, and was drowned in sorrow afterwards as she ruined everything that was supposed to happen between the two of them. They could have been a couple, but she did everything she could to avoid the confrontation. Just when she thought she lost all hope at helping Chiaki or meeting him again, she found out that she still had one remaining chance to time-leap.

That one chance, she used to go back to where it all began, when she found Chiaki's time-leaping device at the beginning of the story. That was when she went to Chiaki and returned him his device, and to tell him that she knew all about the device and time-leaping. Chiaki still has one chance to time-leap then, and Makoto told him to go back, and that she would preserve a drawing that would be very important to Chiaki in the future.

Chiaki's last words before he went back to his time were "I'll be waiting for you in the future."

"Mirai ni matte iru." Something like that.
With that, Makoto resumes the life she led and it all seems very promising that Chiaki would indeed meet her in the future. The story was a cliffhanger there though, and I could only cross my fingers that they would be together in the end.

Watching movies like this only makes me fall for whichever guy that the main character falls for, and by the end of the movie where Chiaki left her my heart was tearing up, wondering why Makoto won't just do something to tell Chiaki that she likes him as well. One last gesture, last words, nothing.

I hate goodbyes, not even in movies when the farewell is happening to non-existent characters.

Imagine if all this happens to humans in real life.

Suddenly time-leaping doesn't seem quite a good idea anymore. I mean, whatever that was shown in this movie could be true. When you alter an incident in the past, you alter the future as well. This was learnt in the Mirai Nikki series too.

I guess it's still best to live in the present. No looking back or regretting past actions. No what-ifs, although it still happens quite a lot to me. This time stuff, what a weird thing it is, isn't it?

Quoting from the Time-leaping Girl movie, "Time waits for no one."

Awesome Annual Ball is Awesome.

Espionage was the name of the ball.

I expected glamorous gowns and dresses, and I was not disappointed.
Costume Trial 1
Costume Trial 2

Costume Trial 3. settled with this.
Photo with some of my course mates.
The dress code was supposed to be whatever spy-ish clothes with a touch of red. The only almost-red thing I had was this book I borrowed from Taiga-san. So I brought it along with me.

I was seated somewhere maybe a little right from the stage, and couldn't really get a nice photo of other people. The fact that my seat allowed me to see what KT was doing was a bonus, however. He wore this black shirt with a red tie, and a vest over it. Many other dudes actually wore similar clothes.

There was this group of girls that danced and I would not be lying when I tell you, THOSE GIRLS ARE HAWT. Like seriously, makes me wonder why I don't have dancing skills or those awesome-pretty looks that the girls have. Not complaining though, I'm happy with what I have.

There was this story where initially two spies were umm... not sure what they were doing initially lol. But there was this girl spy who managed to steal a microchip containing le code to produce this uranium something. Then this same girl was later caught and interrogated, and she told the interrogator who it was that ordered her to do that. She told alright, but it was in codes. We got to solve a puzzle to guess who the traitor was among the spies. The code was actually coordinates of letters on a handout:

From le coordinates and hints given, the traitor's identity was found
So the traitor was actually one of the two spies from the beginning of the story. Sad thing that I did not fully comprehend the story really.

As for the lucky draw. We have about like the odds of one in every four to get a prize, and my luck was just that I did not get any. The prizes ranged from shopping coupons to cameras to loudspeakers to Sony Ericson phone with wifi and samsung tab and Samsung S4. The phones and electronic stuff are only limited to 8 prizes though. Still, it was good enough.

You see why I like that jacket-thing?? <3

Reading spells from a book? xD

The food was nice as well, that was a full 3-course dinner really. Fantastic food, fantastic people and fantastic costumes.

Thank you Student Ambassadors who made this event possible =D (Psst KT's in this photo)

See that gorgeous girl in full red? Well that was the female spy said earlier. Yes she's gorgeous and I don't even know her to start with.

By the end of the annual ball the students were all taking photos and having little chats before they head back home. I didn't get to stick around to take more photos or take pictures with KT though. I did not have the guts to ask him just look at this pathetic me. It was just a question. A simple question. (regrets) Oh I did get to see NW however. She was gorgeous as usual too <3 Guiltily admits here that my attention is still at KT though.

It's when I got home and tried to wash off the make up that I remember why I did not bother learning how to use make up. Some of that soap water can easily enter my eyes and now my eyes sting. Not pleasant. But well, this event is a special one, no harm using make up once in a long while.

I really enjoyed this annual ball although yes, my description here sounds pretty boring. Trust me though you have to be there to see all the performances and hear the commotion and feel the fun to actually know what I meant.

Sitting at a table full of strangers was actually better than I thought it would be. I expected awkward silences and all, but I made a friend who turns out to be an otaku and a fujoshi as well. 

That. was a part of my college life. College life is not as terrible as others might make it sound. It's actually awesome if you know how to juggle between fun and studies here. And to end this post today, I'll attach a poster of this event. This whole thing is totally cool. Thank you once again to everyone who made this event possible and fun.

Poster advertisement for this annual ball.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Back Home!

Finally back home after two weeks, and typing my daily rant here on Blogger, I can only say, "Home Internet IS STILL THE BEST." This internet speed, although I used to complain that it was slow, turns out to be at least 3 times faster than the wifi internet offered at campus and this makes me so very happy.

Being home also means FREE FOOD. Heck. Ask any other college students and you will know. You do not have to spend money for food when you're at home, and for my case, I still think that my mum's cooking is the best.

It makes me wonder if my future children, if any, would be able to say the same thing for my cooking because so far, I am not even allowed to cook on my own. My mum claimed that I might cause an explosion in the kitchen, and so far I have not found any proofs to show her that it would not happen.

I only go home for the weekends. Weekends. Need I say more about weekends? That's when I don't need to get up at 7am and I get to sleep in. Do you understand my happiness? Do you?

Being a couch potato on weekends.
Well I get to sing and dance freely at home, but not at hostel. I don't even speak to my room mates, much less try to suddenly burst into Whitney Houston's song "I'll always Love You". Yes I do that at home. I might also be singing japanese songs and scream that minion potato banana song.

What's kinda bugging me now is that my mum does not see this annual ball thing as importantly as I do. Tomorrow evening would be le ball and she has yet to show me the options of clothes I have.

What I do have now is just this gown my friend lent me but it's a bit too big for me.


This is kind of going to be one stressful weekend really. The one chance I get to play dress up and my mum is more interested in watching movies. *sobs*

I should choose my own clothes but then she would probably disapprove of my taste.

Cause I happen to like gothic stuff.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

College and Hostel Life

I usually bring along with me at least two novels to college for weekly reading. Well, not necessarily in a week, but I would at least have some backup novels to read just in case I ran out of stuff to do while I'm bored.

I only brought a book with me since the last week as I did not get to go home last weekend due to a school trip. By yesterday morning, I finished reading the only novel I brought with me and 3 of the 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' series which I borrowed from my course mate.

Now, usually I would be reading while waiting for the lecturers to start teaching, or when I have about one hour of free time with no mood for homework completion. This is when I decide to whip out a novel and read it. So I then had nothing on my hands as reading materials. Well, none of which are fictions anyway.

Reading is awesome and FUN.
So guess what. KT lent me one of his novels that – I presume – he bought at the Big Bad Wolf sale. 'A Private Business' by Barbara Nadel. That's the novel I can add to my list of read books in maybe a week or so. When I told him that there was only 2 more days till I get to go home and bring in new novels, he said that it could at least make me last that two more days anyway and lent me this thick one that can probably last me a week with the pace I'm reading. It's just due to the assignment load that I can't read more than I am already doing, really.

Hardcover. 456 pages. Just holding this
book made me feel so happy.
I love reading. I must have repeated this a few times in this blog already.

One thing about borrowing this book though, is that I have no idea how I am going to return it to him or when. I kind of am afraid of him now for some unknown reasons 8'D Grateful anyway though, I thought that he would have unsubscribed from my Facebook posts by now. I was mentally fangirl-screaming when he actually called me to tell me he's going to be a little late (I didn't even note that he was 3 minutes late but he did or maybe my watch is just slow). I mean. Oh that voice damn it that voice I can listen to it forever. So it's a little disappointing when he did not say anything when he handed the book to me because I was secretly hoping that I could hear his voice again.

Greedy me.

But back to the main topic here.

So far I have read about 8 novels since my last book haul, and the joy of reading has yet to rub off on any of my course mates. I do wonder why. I mean, they all wonder why is it that I love reading that much and can still have time for homework and revision and even gaming. To be honest I have no answer to that either. I don't think that doing all these are gaining me extra marks needed for my exams and my record of straight A's or excellent results.

It's still alright now, however. I have somehow managed to maintain my examination results, and although I did slack a little in my studies, no obvious harms were noticed.

College life as I know it
Well, anyway. My lifestyle at college is basically like, biscuits for breakfast, random food from food centers for lunch and biscuits once more for dinner. (Oh crap period cramp is killing me as I type this) Then after the studying session is done, I get my laptop along with my fat ass down to the studying room where I play some Facebook games and do some blogging.

If I'm feeling hardworking enough, then I would draw or read or do more revisions for my studies.
That would last till about 10pm when I go back to my room and read for about 10 more minutes before I go to sleep.

Simple schedule really, but it's pleasant.

I'd always recommend my friends to try stay in the hostel. You can actually learn to discipline yourself when it comes to your studies, taking care of yourself and stuff like that. Plus you get to know some of those humans who are not in the same course or intake. Not that I try to socialize with them but some people out there might be interested you see.

The studying environment is pretty inductive as well, but this would probably have to depend on your luck, as in how the hostel people are like. You might be lucky enough to get those hardworking ones, or you just may have roomies that stay out till midnight and come back to your room smelling of perfume and sweat.

College life has been good to me so far though, and I certainly do wish my juniors the best should they be entering their college years as well.

On a side note, I hope KT does not read my blog. The chance that he knows of this blog is very very small, but I really don't want to take the chance. He'd think that I'm creepy or something. Which I probably am because his voice is delicious. But that can be blamed on him.

o3o <3 Meow, paws up!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Annual Ball!!

So I just experimented around with a short-sleeved shirt and a long-sleeved one.

The pictures below are the results.

Do I need any words for this? Basically this is my back-up plan for what to wear in case I cannot find any suitable clothes. 

I did not come up with these ideas by myself, mind you, but I saw them on 9gag and Facebook and decided to try it out myself.

It actually works 8DD

You can choose not to wear a blouse underneath, really. That would look better, actually. But I don't think I'm that bold. Also, I am paranoid that someone would pull that blouse downwards and see my undergarments.

That's not so nice in a public venue is it.

Well, this is a short post, completely unrelated to my earlier post today.

Girls (and guys, if you are interested) go try this and see how it fits on you! xD

Listening to his Voice

I'm a very vocal type of person, and this means one thing:

I respond to voices. Well, I mean, we all do, but my point is that I love voices. But only certain voices. Too much of it may irritate or anger me. For some types of voices, no matter how loud or soft, they soothe me and calm me. I'd be happy as if I'm listening to the voice of someone very dear, or a music track that I love very much. This happiness is kind of hard to describe.

But let's put it this way. Some of you may be attracted to others by their eyes, some their smiles, while some to their attitude. I'm the type of person that falls for someone by their voices. It would be even better if their laughs are pleasant, instead of weird barks. I would simply fall for a voice like that. Or sometimes, the person carrying that voice as well. But usually it's just the voice really.

Yeah, it's about this happy. Or at least, the happiness shown.

The interest in that voice would sometimes be so immense that I would want to record something he or she says and replay it over and over again, just so I can listen and remember. If you have read my previous post, you would see that I was listening to KT's voice. Well, that was something I fell for. I strive to listen whenever I can, and it's getting tough as we do not meet often nor speak when we actually do.

I just wish he would talk more. His voice is lovely.

Uh, no. No no no no, I do not like him that way. It's just the interest in his voice. 

Why would I be interested in voices? If any other girls are asked about the criteria of a guy to make them fall for him, it would probably be the height, his basketball skills, his wallet, his cool car.

Maybe it's because I don't have a perfect voice like anyone else. Have I ever told you that I have problems pronouncing words with letter 'j', 'z', 's', 'x' and 'f''? I don't know what's wrong but the way I pronounce those letters would be like how someone with braces on would. That would have been fine, if I do wear braces. The thing is, I am NOT.

So perhaps it's some suppressed jealousy that I have for the people who has no confidence issue when it comes to talking with others. For me, most people would not understand what I was saying, although some of them do eventually have no problem talking to me once they get used to it. It's kind of... disappointing for me. I admit that this is one of the major factors why I do not socialize much. I have no confidence when it comes to talking to others.

Ah, KT left. Hopefully I'll get to hear his voice tomorrow if I run into him or something. I kind of recognize his voice before I recognize his person. =P It'd be easier if I fall for someone else's voice though, but there's no other voice that I like so far. 

To be honest I feel like a happy stalker whenever I hear him talking =//w//= <3

With this 'shiawase' (happy) expression,
see you!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


I've always been easily hooked to Facebook and its components.

Be it status-posting, commenting or liking and sharing posts or Facebook-stalking, I do it all daily, and probably at a massive amount too. Ah yes, I'm addicted to Facebook-ing.

Previously, I've been playing games like Barn Buddy, The Sims Social, Happy Aquarium, Restaurant City, Mafia Wars, Sorority Life, Pet Society, and, two years ago, yes, Farmville. The list goes on and on really, I played lots of them.

Now when I'm feeling bored or tired of the assignments sitting in front of me just waiting to be completed, I browse around the apps page, and find some weird game I take a liking to, and that's the end of my homework mood.

Just yesterday I have started on this Marketland and Cafeland game, and within one day I have levelled up to level 10 and 16 respectively. Then when things started to require waiting, I started on Shining Star and Dragon Up, not to forget the games that I already was playing before this, Social Life and Happy Aquarium.

Social life game snapshot
Consists of missions and jobs to be done,
virtually, of course.

Cafeland, your normal game where you have to
wait for le food to be cooked, served and complete
missions along the way

Any other Facebook-gamers would know that these games require pure dedication, noting the time and number of times we have to open the app so that the stocks we ordered will not be spoiled, the vegetables in good shape, and the damned double experience points and coins we can get if we get back on time.

Then there's the daily visit rewards. Visit 5 days consecutively and you receive the game's version of cash, which you would have to buy otherwise via credit payment.

Not to forget the dedication you will also need to send gifts or reply to requests from your friends, just so that your friend would return le favor later. I sometimes do wonder the about the point of playing these games when I already know what the game would be like, how it would be constant and boring after the first few levels.

The thing about these games is, they are addicting. For someone that likes games, it's easy to be hooked up to these games and you just continue playing them daily or whenever you can.

I, meanwhile, that's the first thing I do once I switch on my laptop. I load those games and meanwhile get my homework ready on the desk. Then by chance, I might be distracted just long enough to complete at least 20% of my assignments and homework. Such is the dedication I have towards my games so far.

I even resorted to adding random strangers who play the same game in order to achieve some progress in the missions or tasks, adding more neighbours and similar crap. You think that'd stop me from playing these games, but so far, I'm sorry to say that there's no signs of that anytime soon.

Oh. I think it's about time my Social life energy bar is refilled.

Have fun gaming!

P/S: It's not bad, getting to listen to KT's voice while doing mai assignment (and gaming). Voices are awesome. I'll rant about that tomorrow.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Music Box Melodies

Approximately one day after I watched The Conjuring, the music box melody in the movie has replaced my previous ringtone, message tone, alarm tone and any other tones there are to personalize.

A scene from The Conjuring showing the music box
Before this, it was the theme music from 'Dead Silence', which was pretty awesome too. Well I'd say that the Dead Silence music box had a better melody and shows more creepiness. But then again The Conjuring can't really have that scary melody for its music box, can it? I mean, that music box was for this Rory kid, and normal kids do not listen to scary music box melodies.

The puppet is just plain cool isn't it 8D
I have always been quite a fans of music boxes and their melodies. There's this sound they produce that's very unlike that of a piano - which too produces beautiful sounds - and any other instruments. If you like a song, try search for the music box version of it, and you might find the music to be really beautiful, or really scary and haunting, depending on the mentality that you own.

Take any classic music really, even Richard Clayderman's pieces, and when you play the music box, oh, the pretty sounds it make.

When listening to them playing, I'd imagine this broken ballerina dancing. Somehow. Like maybe her limbs twisted, her facial featured forlorn yet pretty, and she's dancing, turning and skipping to the melody. 

It's beautiful, what I imagined. If I am able to draw it on paper I would, but so far I think I may have failed. Quite obviously. I can't capture its prettiness on that paper you see.

But the point of this short post is...

I am currently rushing to finish my biology project, which is due tomorrow, and I am hoping that maybe at least someone would know one or two nice music box melodies and link them to me in the comment section. =P

I'll see you tomorrow, readers.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Dat First Relationship

So, I'm the type of girl who believed in 'Sweet Sixteen' and stuff like that. And being secretly rebellious as that age as well, that probably accounted for why I decided to chase this dude I fell for on Facebook when I thought I had a crush on him.

I can't remember if I really did have a crush on him, but I only knew him for about two months before I decided I like him and umm... Yeah. my mentality was like, "Yuki, go for it go for it go for it"

I think I got to know him through my best friend CT, and I was totally awed when I knew that he can make music - techno, and that probably was when I had interests in him then.

For reference, you can find him on YouTube if you search for 'Teio Rei' or 'tanatoslegion00'. Well anyway. When I first asked him to be my boyfriend, he rejected, but I kept trying anyway, until it actually turned from 'Just for the fun of it' to 'OMG I LURVE HIIIMMMM'. And then, well, he asked me to be his gf on le 3rd of Feb 2011 and I agreed, of course. That excitement of having a boyfriend when I was not allowed to and when I loved him just then was awesome, I guess. But what does a 16-year-old know about love though, it was ruined as soon as it began. Well, not really. 1 and almost a half year after it began, to be exact.

Well anyway, he lived in Melaka, about 3 hours drive from where I was living, and as I did not have a car nor a driving license nor the permission to go out, I only got to see him during the holidays when my parents agreed to bring me back to Melaka so I can meet my best friends and of course, him, but without my parents' knowledge.

Having to date without consent of parents and had to hide around is tiring, I tell you. Even as I held his hands and hugged him and steal a few kisses during the relationship, I had to be cautious about my parents' presence or absence. My best friends then were of course, teasing us and laughing at us but well, that's what friends were for weren't they?

He made a few songs for me and the first one was '4th Dimension' on Valentine's day just about a week after we got together. I think there was a total of 3 or 4 tracks that he made for me, I can scarcely remember now, but really, I was happy that he had the efforts and patience for all that.

On our second-or-was-it-the-third-wait-was-it-the-first date, he gave me one of his shirts and I just wore it whenever I could when I go to sleep. That was one of the only ways to at least pretend he's there, I guess.

However, let me emphasize that the relationship had a win-win situation really. I like smart guys, and he happened to be good in physics and chemistry, which I was not that good in. Then, he was weak in literature subjects, and that's when I help him instead. So you see, it was not all that harmful or non-beneficial relationship.

The relationship was mostly us Facebook-ing.
It's kind of hard coping with the absence at the beginning though, but he was the one who could not cope with the distance. I soon grew to be alright with it, but sometimes at night, like midnight or 2 - 3 a.m. when I am already fast asleep he'd call me, weeping, saying that he missed me.

That kind of scared me. I did not actually expect a guy to cry like that. 

I had to keep the relationship a secret, so it was hard to even call him from time to time or to Skype-chat with him as my parents might find out. I guess that added to the strain in our relationship although we had only two arguments during the whole thing.

I did roleplay with an online friend openly on Facebook, and it was kind of wrong really, and that was the where the first conflict happened. The second one I can no longer remember.

Sorry, maybe I tend to push the bad memories far into the back of my mind so I would not remember.

Usually I initiated the communication when we are not together,
but when we are, the roles are reversed. 

When we did meet, it was kind of awkward for me, I am not sure if he felt the same. ... There's not much I can remember now, how it felt and all that, just emptiness mostly and neutral feelings at having him as my friend once more recently.

He broke up with me through a text when it was almost midnight some when in July 2012. I think it was the 18th. or 19th. Not sure. Either way, I panicked and called him and he was just, the calmest he had ever been the whole relationship.

"I just don't love you anymore." That was the reason I remembered when I asked him why he wanted that so suddenly.

"But you can't just... do this to me, why so sudden?"
"All break-ups are sudden."
"But I love you!"

I spent the next day just crying and my best friend then, M.W., who he too dislikes for some reasons, comforted me and accompanied me. I hereby thank her for that, although we do not keep in touch as often anymore as we no longer study together nor are we able to meet with the lack of transport.

That was the first time I cried that much in years.
I hated being that weak.

I spent about 2 months maybe, very sad about the break-up and the missing future I thought we might have together. LOL, how guileless I was then about relationships and futures.

The next few months was spent loathing him, hating him to the extent of wanting to kill him when I think of all the things he had done to me, all the fake feelings he must have shown me during the last few weeks or who knows, even months, of the relationship. Angry that he only saw MY faults and nothing of his own. Simply enraged at the thought that he kissed me, told me he loved me, and left me just as easily. Mad, that I loved him and forgave him every time he did me wrong. I tore his letters into small pieces before throwing them into the dustbin, and deleted all his messages, his number, unfriended and blocked him on Facebook so he may never contact me, and just... well, hated him.

Then as suddenly as the hate came over me, it disappeared. It's over one year since the break up now, and he and I chat from time to time. He knew who I liked, and I knew who he did, and we are just getting on with life. Though sometimes his totally lame jokes and unmanliness shows and annoys me, let's just say we are pretty much on good terms now. 

So that's just about it, the first relationship I had. It was foolish, full of unfilled promises and expectations. I am not eager for the next relationship when this incident still haunts my mind, making me lose my trust in guys. Oh, Teio Rei, if you happen to be reading this, thanks for the fucked up memories yo. *bro-fist*