It's 2023. 

 I’m an unfinished puzzle

with so many pieces. 

Ever-changing

Sometimes I replace a piece with another

It fits, snug,

A bright, colorful piece in between other dark, worn out pieces

Then a wave of emotions wash over me

I’m convinced putting the bright piece there just feels stupid now

So I tugged it out and

put the dark piece back

A familiar piece

Dark and heavy, yet oddly comforting

I knew it, 

I’ve been it,

I know how it feels in me

I know I should want to replace these pieces with brighter colors

The core of my puzzle pieces yearn for it

I remember feeling the bright piece fitting in

The calm

The peace

The subtle happiness passing through me

I could do anything

U n s t o p p a b l e

But how am I to let go

when the dark pieces have been a part of me for so, so long?

I know I’ll get there someday

The pieces of my unfinished puzzle

will form

a beautiful collage

Each piece something I love

A lesson learnt

A new perspective gained

A little pebble I picked up 

– just because I liked it.

Each piece would make up a part of me

And I just need to remember

that the dark pieces won’t stay there forever

I can make my own new pieces

and I will fit them in.

 I love you

Like a pool of water, 

calm, 

ever-present, 

absorbing your body, your motions

Like the flow of a river,

flowing fast,

pulling you along,

Impatient

Like the waves lapping at the beach,

reaching out just to be able to touch you 

I subside, I shy away

And suddenly, in a big wave, I swallow you whole

I needed you

Your whole being

Your hot crown of fervent, bright lights

Your tangled shadows creeping in your footsteps

Your strength

Your-

I love you strongly

Intense, 

Ever-needing

Your whole being submerged in me and still, 

I needed to be within you

Like you need me

As much as I need you

I contain you

calming your fiery blaze, 

Ground you,

You can feel my heat rise when your temper glows like a hot iron

Sway you.

Float or sink, you do as you want

For I am but the medium in which you’ve chosen to sink into 

I am constant

I am here

I am present

I’m like water, 

I love you,

In ways the licks of your flame will never understand

Like the way my waves will always be taken aback by your glorious fire

So, I have been playing quite a lot of Animal Crossing New Leaf, and I streamed my gameplay sessions on Twitch as well. More often, I just upload the videos onto YouTube and the streams are more of an optional thing.

I mean, look at it. It's so beautiful.

Oh right, I am actually playing the latest update for ACNL, which includes the Welcome Amiibo stuff.

I basically summoned some of the characters from The Legend of Zelda to Toodles, which is super cool, but only because they look better than some of the default characters in the Animal Crossing franchise.

In any case, if you like to listen to Animal Crossing background music or gameplay sessions while you work, here's a shameless self-promo for my channel.

So much for just continuing this 750 words journey! The second day after I started this challenge, I had to go for a full-day training and by the time I was back, I was already exhausted.

The day after? Well, there was work to catch up on, me being tired as usual, and lots more work. Did I also mention work?

Yes. So anyhows that's how I ended up missing a few days of writing here. I really should try to write more! I did sign up for the October challenge after all.

Anyhow, I haven't been well for the past three days or so. On Saturday, I started feeling a little bloated. It was about time for my PMS symptoms to start showing, so I wasn't too concerned. It was more uncomfortable than usual, and I thought that I had air in my stomach and that was it.

But the next day the pain continued, and it was getting kind of excruciating. I even went out to get some of those medicine for getting rid of air in the stomach. That didn't work. I was very gassy, but nothing helped. Not the burps, not the hot water packets, not the many farts I let out like the beautiful lady that I am.

I went to the clinic.

The doctor asked many questions. Did I eat on time? Did I have any abnormalities in my pooping or urinating habits? Have I been drinking enough water? Where does it hurt?

Initially, he thought that I might have some UTI thing going on because, well, I pointed to my bladder area being painful. But then I corrected myself. It was around the navel area, and kind of the area below my ribs.

Then the doctor told me that it was gastritis. I wasn't sure why though, I told him, because I ate on time and I didn't eat anything particularly acidic (except for the coffee every now and then, but even coffee also hasn't been strong that week!).

He then asked me if I was stressed.

I thought about the pending work from my freelance clients that are all due within the same week. I thought about the meeting in my full-time job and all the things that I need to do. Oh yes, I definitely remember feeling stressed that week. I was very stressed and demotivated, but I managed so far, didn't I?

Well, I told the doctor that yes, I felt stressed that week. There was a lot going on.

He then kind of had an eureka moment, and told me that it was stress-induced. He explained to me how stress can cause your stomach to release more acid than usual, and that may lead to gastritis. And so, there I was.

Painful stomach, super gassy, and I couldn't really sleep well because every turn would make my stomach feel painful again. It was just so painful, and I told my boyfriend that the pain was probably about 5x more than my usual menstrual pain. It isn't a lot, but there were times throughout the night that I just curl up in a fetal position and try to steady my breathing because it was hurting so bad.

By dinner time, I had to eat the painkillers. I tried to stay off it, but it was too painful not to do so.

The painkillers didn't help, and I woke up in the middle of the night in pain again. It didn't feel like peaceful sleep at all.

So this morning, I went to the doctor again. Today, it's a different doctor sitting at the clinic.

"Is it normal to be feeling so much pain? The painkillers didn't work."

The new doctor asked me about the painkillers that I received. What color was it? What shape was it? I told her that it was the white one, round shape. And she told me that it was basically Panadols, and that wouldn't really help with the gastric pain.

She prescribed me with a stronger painkiller and I was more than happy to ingest that one once I had my lunch. I also asked her to issue me an MC because I already informed my colleagues yesterday that I'll be on leave due to the pain I was experiencing.

So I had my new meds, and I got to rest.

After having lunch, I took all the medicine I had to take, took some painkillers, and took a long nap. I ended up feeling a little woozy and nauseous after a while, but I think I'm okay now. There isn't so much pain anymore, and I can actually get some work done again.

Sooooo.... Well I guess now I need to watch out for my stress management!

So, I'm starting with this 750 words thing today. I don't know how long it's going to take me to write this, but I think it would be a great initiative?

I don't even know what I'm babbling on about to be honest, but I have to admit - this sounds a lot more fun than just thinking about a topic and writing about it. I was actually looking for the desktop version of write-a-day when I stumbled upon 750 Words.

It's kind of like a writing challenge, something to motivate you to write more everyday or at least get into the practice of it? So, here it is. 750 words.

IDK though, I might like this one better, or I might not. All I know is I fell in love with the Writeaday aesthetics, and the idea of being prompted to write 750 words a day is also a fun thing to do, especially on desktop.

Years after using a mobile phone and I still am not too used to typing on phone. It's just so uncomfortable in comparison, pressing all the little buttons and pressing the wrong ones all the time. I don't know if others would prefer typing on the phone, but I know that I don't.

I just noticed that there's this counter at the bottom counting the number of words I've written. That's kinda cool too. And now that I'm half the page down, the super minimalist and clean interface is starting to appeal to me.

Maybe clean is good. Uncluttered. No need for fancy colors and features. I can go all deep-mode by saying shit like 'remember to be grateful for all the simplicity in life!' and so on, but that would be kind of pretentious, wouldn't it?

I'm still babbling on, aren't I?

As it turns out, it's super easy to just type out whatever's in my head - any thought that come to mind and all. The words just flow, and I haven't had that privilege for a while! The words have been feeling a bit forced recently, and I haven't been producing write-ups that I feel incredibly proud of.

I haven't been writing those sweet little love letters to my darling either.

I think it's just that we have been seeing each other everyday and spending so much time around each other? He must have moved in with me for the past 2 months + by now. Aside from our working time, we spend the rest of the time together for most part.

It's nice. He's always there.

Well, sometimes he's just playing his games a lot or taking so many vaping breaks, but that's part and parcel of staying with him. At least he's been feeling super comfortable and loved here :)

I remember how happy I felt when I moved out, finally gaining a daily life freedom that I never really had the chance to experience. This is his time, even if he's still in the internship period in the last run of his studies.

I'm quite excited to see what's waiting ahead for him. It would be fun, wouldn't it? He's going to get even more immersed in car race stuff, that much I can guess. Car drifts, car races and track days.

Speaking of track days though, yesterday he was actually sleep talking again!

This time it's a little different from the usual though. Usually it's just super short phrases and mumbling of strange words.

Yesterday he was speaking super coherently. Somehow he was speaking in Cantonese, and it's a pity that I didn't hear the first half of whatever he was saying. It has to be at least two complete sentences there.

All I heard towards the end was "And then they hold a track day there".

Which shows that my boy is thinking of car races and track days even in his sleep! My goodness. Just how much does he love car stuff? ... I guess it's a lot, isn't it? That was kind of a dumb question.

Eh, whatever. He's cute that way xD

Recently he has been throwing more tantrums like the little boy that he is. I can't blame him fully for yesterday though. I mean... After giving him a playful smack I actually accidentally supplex-ed him?

I meant to carry him in his curled up position, but by some wrong movements and whatnot I just ended up rolling up upwards before we both fell to our side and his head made a soft 'thunk' noise when he hit the floor.

I didn't mean to though, I swear xD

Now that the tantrum is over, I'm seeing it as a funny experience!

Aaand that's 750 words. 11 minutes. Not too shabby a time huh?

What I Want is Not What I Need

Arguments are bound to happen. 

Know when to end it.

Working in the race tracks is no easy feat – it’s a unique experience to be in the stands watching cars speed by, and a different one altogether when you’re there as a driver or as a pit stop crew.

Monkey works in the pit stops and helps with scrutinizing the vehicles pre-race. After visiting Elite Plus Speedway Circuit, MIMC Track and Sepang International circuit with him, I asked him to share his experience with me. This is what he has to say.

Sepang International Circuit is Ranked Among the Most Difficult Race Tracks in the World

It’s for a reason that we are all familiar with – the weather. It could be sunny when you’re preparing for the race, and drizzling 20 minutes later during the race.

The race track could be wet from the rain in one area and dry in the rest.

The drivers’ skills are tested to their limits.

They have to navigate the tracks with changing conditions around the corners. Most tires are better-suited either for dry or wet roads only.

Every choice and technique matters.

Road Surface Temperatures Can Go Up to 60°C

Photo by Pexels

The Sepang International Circuit has no trees around the track. There’s barely any wind, making the tracks hot even on normal days.

Vehicle interiors are stripped down to the bare minimum – just the driver’s seat, no air-conditioning. Passenger seats are often removed to make the vehicle lighter.

Drivers must wear a helmet on the tracks. Some also wears a thick and stuffy racing suit for protection.

As race after race goes on, the tracks grow hotter from tire friction, reaching high temperatures. The interior of vehicles heats up with the engine’s workings and exhaust gas from surrounding cars.

Imagine being covered from top to bottom while you’re parked in a hot parking lot with no air-conditioning and windows up – the thought itself is uncomfortable, isn’t it?

That’s how the drivers feel, but they need to stay focused on the road and vehicles around them while bearing the uncomfortable sensations.

Some drivers will have a pipe that directs air into their car through the window, while others will have an ice box where the passenger seat should be, just so that they do not suffer from a heat stroke.

Drivers who completed their race would exit the car with a soaking shirt, wet hair, and skin red like a cooked lobster.

There’s Barely Any Rest for the Pit Stop Crew Either

Photo by Pexels

Have you ever heard of the 1000km endurance race?

Like the name suggests, drivers have to complete 1000km inside the Sepang circuit, often requiring two or more drivers to take turns driving for their teams.

The fastest completion still takes longer than 8.5 hours.

Of course, there are other events – track days which anyone can join, official races which are more competitive, international events where the country pride is concerned.

Normal race events take up an entire day from set up to post-event clean-up. There’s not much time to rest in between.

Prior to races, the scrutinizing team must check each vehicle to ensure that they fit the regulations. When the event starts, the pit stop crew has to hurry to change tires and fix vehicle issues in between.

They have to alert the drivers when it’s time for them to exit the compulsory pit in once that job is done too.

They can only manage a few spoonsful of food before the next car comes towards the pit stop and it’s back to work.

Sleep is almost non-existent. If you are lucky enough, you might have a few minutes when you can sit down, fall asleep immediately and rush to work again once you hear the cars speeding in.

The pay for racing events are good, ranging up to several hundreds ringgit for a day.

Are you prepared for the exhaustion though? Remember, there’s also the long drive home after the event.

Motorsports enthusiasts know how fun it is to watch the races – especially the prestigious Formulae One races – but how many knows the struggle?

Update 10 August 2019:

If you have read a little bit about my introduction and primary review for KODENSHI Aulora Pants before, you might find this detailed review a little more helpful.

You can also send me a message here: https://www.facebook.com/PohmahtoeTurKey/ if you want to ask other questions related to these pants!

TL;DR: I attribute some of the benefits to placebo effect, but seeing my close elderly relatives benefit from wearing AULORA Pants over several months with better mobility and flexibility, I'd recommend it for the elderly. If you're intending to purchase these pants, I'll recommend to buy two pairs because you're supposed to wear it consistently to see the effects, and you'll definitely need an extra pair for when the other goes to wash.

An Honest Review for KODENSHI Aulora Pants

Introduction & Initial Perception

Need to Be Careful Wearing It

It Helped with Bloating for Me

I Don't Feel the Heat Retention

It Helped to Choose the Right Size

KODENSHI Aulora Pants Helped My Grandparents Get More Mobile & Flexible

It Could be Placebo Effect, but It's Still Effective

My Conclusion

People think that it’s always a major conflict that leads to a couple’s break up. Granted, things like catching your spouse cheating or having your relationship turn toxic can be two of the major things leading to a break up. However, more commonly, it’s the small things that pile up and eventually, the straw breaks the camel’s back.

Just the other day, I saw a story being shared. I just did some simple rewriting based on my what I remember of it.

The girl was eating dinner with her boyfriend, when boy’s phone received a message. It was from another girl, who asked him, “Hey, can you come down and fix my computer for me? It’s acting up again. If your girlfriend doesn’t like it, it’s okay.”

The girlfriend appeared unhappy, and asked her boyfriend, “Didn’t you tell me that you were going to delete this green tea bitch from your contacts?” (green tea bitch is a slang in Chinese that refers to girls who appeals to guys by appearing weak, needing help and siding with him with sayings like, “You’re so nice, why doesn’t your girlfriend appreciate you? I know I would.”)

“You are just being dramatic now. She’s just a friend.”

“You promised me that you were going to delete her two weeks ago.”

“Well then if it bothers you so much, take my phone. Delete anyone that pisses you off! Are you happy now?”

The girl stormed off into her room, visibly upset that her boyfriend had not only gone against his promises, but also got angry at her for bringing the promise up. After a while, the boyfriend came in to apologize to her.

“I’m sorry. My temper got the better of me. I’ll delete her now, okay?” he then proceeded to delete and block the girl’s contact number in front of his girlfriend. “Come on, don’t be mad now. I’ll buy you some of the puddings that you like, okay? Let’s get some nice food.”

Her worries were resolved, and she let it slide. They were okay for the day. The day was saved.
A few days afterwards, it was their anniversary.

The girl remembered when her boyfriend apologized in advance last year.

“Babe, I’m so sorry I can’t celebrate our anniversary together this year. I couldn’t get myself out of this business trip. I’ll have to go, but I promise you that I’ll throw you a grand anniversary celebration next year, okay?”

The girl was joyful, and dressed up nicely, waiting for her boyfriend to come back from work and bring her out for their anniversary celebration.

Night falls, and even midnight passed. The boyfriend only returned home around 3AM, drunk.

“Hey babe. Why are you still up?” The boyfriend asked amidst his hiccups. “Oh right, I forgot to tell you. My colleague was celebrating his birthday and I followed. The party lasted all night after work and I got drunk so I forgot to tell you. Go sleep, I’ll join you after I’m done showering.”

He then saw that his girlfriend was still seated on the couch, not moving, her face showing that she was upset.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“It’s our anniversary.” She replied shortly.

The boyfriend then realized his mistake.

“I’m so sorry babe. I got so busy that I forgot. It’s my fault, okay? I’m stupid. I’m so, so stupid. Can I make it up to you by celebrating tomorrow? Please?”

The girl appeared a little better, but just quietly said to her boyfriend, “Fix the shelf with our pictures on it, will you? The hinges are loose.”

“Oh come on, don’t worry about that now. I’ll get to it. Now let’s focus on making you happy again okay? Go lie down and relax. I’ll treat you to a nice supper that will make you feel like a queen before we go to sleep tonight, okay?”

The day was still saved.

A week later, as the couple were strolling on the streets, a motorcycle suddenly swerved towards the couple.

The boyfriend pushed his girlfriend away from him and ran off, leaving the girl standing there in shock as the motorcycle stopped just inches away from her.

She was still in shock and disbelief when the boyfriend, having regained his composure, came back around to scold the motorcyclist.

“Hey, watch where you were going! You could have hit us! Look at what you have done, you’ve shaken her up so much. What were you going to do if you really did hit her? Can you pay? Grow a proper pair of eyes and ride safer next time for God’s sake.”

The motorcyclist apologized and went back on his way.

“See, I scolded the motorcyclist for you. It’s okay now, isn’t it? Let’s go get something nice to soothe your nerves, shall we?”

“I’m not hungry anymore. You can go and eat whatever you want. I’ll head back first.”

“Oh, is that so? Well okay, have a safe trip back. I’ll have something to eat before I go back.”

The girl went back home with even more disappointment. Her boyfriend, someone she trusted and loved so much, did not try to protect her from the oncoming threat. He ran away. He did not even try to console her even though she was still shaken from the possible accident, and only cared about his own stomach at that moment.

Still, she was alive, and the day was somewhat saved.

Cue to another week or two later, the young girl came down with a fever and was feeling unwell. She was resting in bed when her boyfriend called.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” she asked with a few small coughs.

“Oh, just calling to update on some things. You’re not feeling well?”

“No, I think I got the flu and a fever. I’m so uncomfor-"

“Drink more warm water, okay? That would be good for you. Ah by the way I’m just letting you know that I’m bringing some colleagues back after work later. You might want to clean up around the house a bit, don’t make it look too messy.”

“Babe-“

“Well I got to go now okay? I’ll see you after work.”

The girl then looked at the phone, dumbfounded. Did her boyfriend actually just asked her to do more chores when she’s not feeling well? He didn’t even care about her being sick. He only focused on his own agendas.

Still, she looked around the house. She could do some cleaning up, she supposed. She downed some paracetamol and went about her chores. When she was finally done, she sat down at the dining table and took out her favourite pudding from the fridge.

She took a sniff of herself and contemplated whether she should shower first before she sit down to enjoy her little treat.

She decided to shower first.

The moment she came out from the shower, she saw her boyfriend seated on the dining table, finishing the pudding.

“Oh hey babe, I’m back home a bit early to shower before my friends come over. I didn’t eat enough during lunch, so I’m a bit hungry. I’ll eat this first if it’s okay.”

The girl stood in the doorway in silence for a few seconds.

“Let’s break up.” She went into her room and started packing her things up.

The boyfriend stood up. “What for? Over a pudding? Are you for real? Come on, I’ll just get you like 99 more of these puddings tomorrow. What’s the big deal?”

The girl packed things that she needed and headed for the door.

“Seriously? Over a fucking pudding?”

As she closed the door, the hinges came loose on the shelf with their pictures. The picture frames smashed on the floor.

It was the pudding that broke the camel’s back. Little by little, the disappointments worn the girl off.

I like to think of these little disappointments as poison damage that you see in RPG games. The damage is usually very little, and you can always regain some health points automatically as you go. However, the health points that you automatically regain usually do not cover the poison damage fully, and in the end – Game Over.

It’s a little harder to communicate about this form of damage in relationships. If it’s the bigger issues, it’s easy to point it out. “Hey, I didn’t like that you are still talking to your ex.” Or “Hey, I hope it’s okay but I am not very comfortable with you being so close with that other friend/ colleague of yours.” Or even something that goes like, “Hey. Your alcohol issues. You need to get it sorted.”

That’s easy. It may not be 100% easy to deal with or resolve, but at least, it’s easy to get it noticed.

What about all the problems and small disappointments that the girl experienced?

“I don’t like it what you text that girl.” That’s fine.

“I don’t like it when you can’t even see how that girl is trying to make you like her.” How so?

“I don’t like it when you forget to tell me about plans that come up suddenly.” Well…

“I don’t like it when you break your promise from last year.” Uh…

“I don’t like it when you forget our anniversary.” Well, reasonable.

“I don’t like it when you acted on reflex and put your own safety before mine.” Hmmm…

“I don’t like it when you ask me to clean up the house when I’m sick.”

“I don’t like it when you don’t take good care of me.”

“I don’t like it when you help yourself to my pudding without asking first when I intended to eat it in a few minutes.”

“I don’t like it when you don’t fix the shelf like you said you would.”

“I don’t like it when you think only of yourself.”

“I don’t like it when-“

It gets harder and harder to point out, and eventually some of these might sound unreasonable. When facing these situations, do you intend to pick fights with your partner over all of these seemingly small issues? Or would you let it go and just keep the disappointment inside your heart for a bit until you finally cannot take it anymore, and end it over a pudding?

Are you receiving or causing poison damage? What are you doing about it before it gets too late?

I had expectations, and I had disappointments. I think that's enough said.

10 Expectations Versus Reality for Freelance Writers

The Wanted Platform vs. The Received Platform

Expectation: I heard that UpWork is a very good platform for freelance writers. I can probably get some good work done here if I get my profile approved!

Reality: Too many freelancers with freelance content writer title in UpWork. Will not get an approved profile in the next 2 years because there are too many content writers. It does not help that I write and translate and transcribe with an awesome education and employment history. I will never be approved on the one site that I want to promote myself on. Oh, here's a platform that totally leaves their freelancers with no payment protection. I guess I'll have to hop on.

The Projected Income vs. The Actual Income

Expectation: Okay so other writers are charging between $10 and $50 for 1000 written works. I have a fair amount of experience and so I will charge $20 per 1000 written works on all of these freelancer platforms.

Reality: All platforms take at least 10% off my earnings and PayPal takes an extra 3% off that amount when I transfer it into my bank account so I get about $17.46 in my bank account. Optimally the exchange rate is 1:4, so from that I can probably get about RM69.84 but it is currently 1:3.5 so I’m only getting RM61.11. My projected profit was RM80 from 1000 words and now I’m getting RM20 less, which means that I did about 250 words for free and I gave away 15 minutes worth of free labor.

The Too-Much-Work Freelance vs. The Too-Little-Work Freelance

Expectation: I get to work on my own terms, whenever I want, wherever I want!

Reality: Last month, I had 5 clients with 18 pending articles and 30-minute transcriptions due in a week so I told 2 clients that I will be busy for the next 1 month to pause the job with them for a bit. I had a good break for 2 weeks after a week with minimum sleep. Now I have 1 active client and they only provide me $10 of work in a week and all the other clients already found themselves a freelancer with better time and client management so I can’t make more money even if I wanted to.

The Prices You Want vs. The Prices They Pay

Expectation:  I can charge my own price. I know my work quality and I just need to wait for the clients who are able to pay me that average rate long-term!

Reality: Clients approaching me directly can only pay $5 per 1000 words written when my actual rates currently are at $20 per 1000 words. The one client who is paying me $20 per 1000 words is asking for super tight deadlines, is mean and unreasonable and a lot of research is needed. He doesn’t think I deserve a raise and he can’t afford it anyway. Also, he pays up only a month later and I don’t know when he is going to escape without paying one day.

The Skills You Have vs. The Skills You Need

Expectation: I’m good with biology and health related articles. I can produce 1000 words within an hour maximum. I can find some good work with that!

Reality: Clients are asking for 5000-word manuscripts about cryptocurrencies and the history of one specific rock in the bottom of the ocean which I have zero knowledge about. The only companies accepting health and biology-related articles are full-fledged scientific journals that I need a proper research paper for, or maybe they don’t pay for any contributions unless I am a certified doctor.

The People You Want vs. The People You Get

Expectation: If I’m nice to potential clients or exiting clients, they will be nice to me too!

Reality: Potential clients turn out to be creeps with fetish for Asian girls hoping that I am willing to get paid $25 to show them some skin or sell them my used underwear. I tell the clients that I got sick and need to rest and suddenly I was an irresponsible freelancer because I am not submitting my work on time. I chase the clients that don’t pay up and eventually submit a complaint through their official website and was accused of defamation of the company.

The Optimism vs. The Pessimism

Expectation: People are trustworthy. Trust people unless they show signs that they are not to be trusted.

Reality: Client blocks me off after I spend 5 hours writing short paragraphs for them. They reverse their payments from completed assignments and I end up receiving nothing in return for my work because they closed off their accounts immediately after getting what I give. Turns out there was a small little clause cleverly hidden in the terms and conditions of the freelancer platform that says, “We reserve the rights to reverse the payments in situations deemed necessary,” which, in many scenarios that happened to other freelancers, meant that they will let the scammers get away without paying.

 The Work-Life Balance vs. The Actual Productivity

Expectation: I have a full-time work which covers my commitments and some food. If I take this freelance job and work 4 additional hours after work, I can earn enough to spoil myself once in a while.

Reality: I’m so tired after meeting clients and doing everything I did at the office earlier. By the time I’m done showering and having my dinner I need to rest a little before I start working so in the end I can only work an additional 30 minutes to one hour before I get so tired that I need to sleep. I haven’t had a proper resting weekend for two months because I need to catch up on my freelance work.

The Price Hike vs. The Incoming Funds

Expectation: I have earned enough experience and my writing skills have definitely improved compared to two years ago. I can also write on at least 8 more new topics that I couldn’t write when I just started. I can raise another $10 to my price for better research and faster turnaround time.

Reality: No one has contacted me ever since I increased my rates. Bidding on projects with my new rate is also a failure because no one wants to pay $30 for 1000 words even if I include free stock photos, give the entire article a professional and neat look, and create a citation section at the bottom to show that it is indeed a well-researched article.

The Wishful Bonus vs. The... Lack of.

Expectation: I have some clients who have been with me for 2 years now. That’s awesome! Maybe they will include a small bonus for me this year?

Reality: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH